Amnesia

April 16th, 2002

Today was rebelious. As expected.

I woke up and automatically wanted to leave the house. I
took advantage of the fact that she was at work and bozo
was sleeping. I got everything ready. More or less. I got
out when he was in the bathroom. I love using that as an
opportunity. The way I left today was almost as it should
be. (It should be that I leave a note and my parents have
met the person that I was gonna hang
with) but this was close enough.

As I was walking out, my bro Arthur told me that I might
wanna tell bozo where I'm going. I thought yeah, since he
is gonna get more bitchy then her. So I told him, I'm going
for a walk in the park with my friend Aiondria, bee back @
5:00 gotta go. I then left. He didn't say anything. Maybe
couldn't hear me. So I got out of the house. Last time that
happened was when I had a head full of braids and wanted to
go to school like that. I was walking down the bus stop
already since bozo was in the bathroom. He drove to the bus
stop I walked to and picked me up, told me I'm not gonna go
out in public looking like a freak. Maybe he said something
about bringing discrace to the family. I don't quite
recall. But yeah. So I rushed downstairs and out the door.
He didn't catch me.

I was to meet my friend at the intersection by my house at
2:30. She ran late and got there like 15 to 20 min. late. I
got a little worried, since I was wearing shorts (nothing
too skimpy) and I don't like my neighborhood. To buy some
time without some guys hollering at me, I pretended that I
was waiting for the bus. Unfortunately the bus came by.
Many of them, and very often. One guy started talking to me
as though I was a tourist, telling me not to worry that the
bus is coming. ( I was just like, so, what's your point) I
was fucking wondering why he's smiling so much. It freaked
me out. I don't like such happy people. They scare me. I
parted from him alot. I guess he thought I was really
anxious to get on the bus since I was far infront of the
bus stop. That was only cause there was the sun, and it's
the first time I was in shorts after the winter, so I
wanted to develop at least a slight tan before we go back
to school. I didn't get too far though. I rather be near
the freakish smiling guy then the smoking junky look alike.

Eventually my friend came with her mom driving and we went
to the theater. Saw Ice Age. She really wanted to see it. I
prefered to see Blade 2 since Ice Age is only a 81 minut
movie. Blade is over 2 hours. But it didn't seem all that
short, and it was real funny and cool. Not packed at all.

I saw a supposed friend when we walked out. Elisabeth. I
called, but as all supposed friends she didn't respond.

Well, later we stood outside waiting for her mom to show,
talking about what we will be when we grow up and such.
What we wanna do when we graduate. (Can't believe it's that
time already)

Her mom picked us up and we went to her cousins house. We
were suppose to go for a walk out with the dogs, but
instead her mom, her, her cousin, her aunt and I drove
kinda far off to Bakers Squre. They ate a ton. I had a bowl
of fruit, and some of their unbelievable pie. I love that
place. I only wanna come for pie. I swear, if a guy were to
take me there on a first date, I would definately call him
up for another date. (By the way, did I mention the waiter
was cute? Well he was. Real nice too.) Well we sat and ate.
They kept talking in kind of an arguing fashion. I was very
amused by this.

I took the remainder of the pie home as proof to my mom
where I've been. I think she liked the pie too. She started
cleaning up the joint since we gotta get rid of a ton of
our junk. And boy do we have a lot of junk. She didn't
really care, or atleast didn't really seem to care about me
coming home like that. All she wanted to know was how did I
get the cash for the pie, who drove us e.t.c... She was
pissed off though. I could tell. She still hasn't gotten
over that remote thing. Since it got found somehow. When
she was in the kitchen I took it and started flipping
chanals. When I set it on the Simpsons she took the remote,
turned off the t.v. and hid the shit. I didn't really mind.
That's what a mother should do. Normally she encourages my
t.v. watching. Even though it is so bad for me. Especially
the amounts of t.v. she excpects me to watch. She thinks
that for entertainment I can just watch t.v. instead of
going outside. BULL SHIT!!! If that were how it would be I
would have 1/20 vision or worse. Cause I always wanna go
outside and she doesn't let me. Just gives me the
consellation prize (I think that's how you spell it) of
television. This is the first time she actually stopped me
from watching t.v. I wasn't insulted. I just finally
thought she was doing her job as a mother right. (Sure it
took her over 19 years, but let's not get in to that.)

I talked to Teresa which was great. I was suppose to read
Dracula instead, but I just wanted to get on for like 1/2
an hour to keep up with the businesses. (Pimping.) I was
behind on my word of the day so I checked that out as well.
I found out that I can go back and check the ones I've
missed. Which was great because sometimes they don't sink
in, or I don't have time to go on the internet. The most
important reason though, is cause of my Latin Dictionary.
Every word has a definition, a sample sentence, and a
history of how that word came to the English language.
Often in that history there is a definition for a Latin
word. I try to learn them, put them together, and with
practice I'll know some Latin. Which will greatly help me
if I can't find a Latin-English; English-Latin dictionary.
I really wanna learn that language. Right after French, and
Spanish.

This is good though. This is how fun and work balance. You
have study and get tired. So you party and sleep, and the
next day (or when you come back,) you are all set and ready
to hit the books, and hard. I had such an apettite for
reading dracula when I came back I couldn't really believe
it. I didn't have to force myself into it at all. I got
online though and now it's a little late to read. Tomorrow
though I'll get up early, quickly eat, and start reading. I
am gonna meet Justyna at about 3:00 p.m. so that gives me
some time. She's cool. I haven't talked to her since a long
time ago so I was kinda surprised when she called. She told
me she had moved, that she went to snowball, why wasn't I
there, and invited me to come over and bring some
interesting pictures. She'll have some too and we'll just
chat and chat and chat. She's got the house to herself so
woohoo. And it's a condo. So, cool.

I really gotta go now though. I feel my eyes falling, and I
gotta rest up. WOW, it's almost 1:00 a.m. (should I still
title this April 16th? Yeah, duh)
Teresa, I don't know how you did this but I like it in a
way. I usually don't like to write, but I do like to get my
thoughts off of my head in proper order, neatly done, with
proper grammer and spelling hopefully, and very detailed. I
never wrote things as long as this. What is up? I don't
know. Maybe it's a way, (one of the best ways,) that I'm
getting through my depression. Thanks Teresa. I guess this
drifting from topic to topic makes me realize alot of
things. You always wanted to help me get through this and
you are. While keeping up our friendship. Thanks a ton.
Maybe soon I'll smile and mean it too. Who knows what lies
ahead. Chow Dudes!!!

-Amnesia