.Scream Your Dream.
...your thoughtless words
are breaking my heart.
please dont say i love you, those words touch me much too
im afraid of everything yet to come with you. maybe afraid
is the wrong word, i guess anxious is better. im still
nervous and confused, but at least im happy now.
(a few hours later i contintue this entry)
so he broke me pretty hard tonight, thanks, maybe i needed
that. reality check? just ruining my night. i breathe in
deep, and exhale slowly, holding the tears back. my mom
sticks up for me so much, i cant even be mad at her for
giving up. its 10:30, yawn. my weekend, i dont care.
nothing matters now, just sleep and being strong.
writing about sam.
i miss you. i miss your calls and the things you wrote for
me to read. i was so happy to see you on saturday. though
it made me sad. you are an amazing person, maybe with a
writing block in the middle of a cold and lonly night, you
will think about our friendship. i think about your zine,
and who you write about, i read my zine and note what i
wrote about you. i wish things had never changed. i dont
(no, you wont ever read this)
i didnt even have anything to write about tonight, i feel
jaded, and fed up with so much. i needed to be sad about
somthing that wasnt family or relationships, or the scene,
i pick sam.
i love all of my friends. sometimes i wish i could tell
them that. i love you all.