i_bleed_life

The mediocrity that is me
2002-04-16 05:55:57 (UTC)

Four more left!!!!

Aaaahhhh......

My brain is in freeze-mode at the moment. I'm supposed to
be writing an essay on Robert Browning's "The Last Duchess"
but i just can't concentrate. Especially on something for
school. So I figured i'd come on here, and write about
absolutely nothing. Fun for everyone.

Four more mondays left of high school!!! Thank fucking god.
I am sooo sick of all of the high school crap. Take, for
example, the infinite number of high school couples. For
some extremely odd reason, over half of them insist on
molesting each other between classes. I'll be walking to
class, and then all of a sudden, the two people in front of
me will just stop and start making out. Honestly...get a
life!! You're going to see each other again in the next
HOUR, I think you can handle not touching each other for 60
minutes. It's not like one of you is going off to war or
anything. Just fucking English class. Yes, that's right.
You've known each other for a total of two months, and you
met while drunk at a party. It must be love. Definitely
meant to be. Of course, I can't exactly relate to any of
those people, seeing how I never really had any 'serious'
high school relationship. Not like I think I'd be like that
anyway. It seems to me that half of those couples molest
each other just because that's the thing to do. Way to
conform.

Oh, and the oh-so-wonderful "freshman hall," where it is
absolutely impossible to get through because of the morons
who just stand there right in the middle of the hallway. I
can understand if you want to stand outside class and talk.
I can even be forgiving if you want to stand in the middle
of the hallway to talk, but for chrissakes, when people are
trying to get through, don't just stand there like a dumb
cow!!!

OK, I'm done. Wow, what am I going to have to bitch and
moan about after high school? I'll be without a purpose.
You know what the really sad thing is? I am kind of scared
out of my mind of graduating. The independence part sounds
wonderful, and college sounds like a blast, but I just have
absolutely no direction in my life at all. I know I can
take care of myself. I have no doubts about that at all.
I'm just scared crazy because I don't know what I want to
do with my life at all. I honestly can't remember EVER
having a plan for my life....and I don't know if I can
still just take it all one day at a time anymore. I've
always just counted on not surviving through high school.
Now that it looks like I'm going, I'm terrified. Hell, I
hardly know what I like to do. How am I ever going to get
anywhere when I don't even know where it is I want to go?

song of the second: "Raining Blood" by Tori Amos (and yes,
i know it is a slayer song)