Nothing 2 Hide
2001-05-26 18:20:14 (UTC)

May 26th, 2001- 1st Entry

The entries below were my previous diary entries online.
You can find it at http://www.louella.diaryland.com

I just thought that I should include it here because it's
part of my diary, on the whole.

There are only six of them:

2001-05-23 - 10:26 p.m.

Dear Reader,

How ironic really... I've only clicked on FAVORITES to visit a girl's
diary site and when I clicked on back, this form's empty.

So now, I have to start all over again, but good thing I've not
gotten far the last time. Nobody warned me about this!. This would be
my first diaryland entry, technically. I've known about this site
accidentally. I was doing a search on Yahoo and I typed in 'diary'.
My intention wasn't to find a 'diary site' such as this one, but it
was to find a girl's site. But then again, I realized that I've
stored her site's url under FAVORITES so I didn't have to do a search
on her after all.. but ironically enough, I've read the description
of this site and it sounded interesting. As the curious creature that
I am, clicked on the link and I'm here.

I've tried to keep a diary, but I always knew that either my mom
would find it or I'd lose interest on writing entries so I never
really taken the idea seriously. But this girl's diary entries, I
think laura's her name because that's what she signs at the end of
her entries (duh), strucked a cord... She wrote honestly and as I was
reading the entries one by one, I almost get the feeling that I
really KNOW her. She wrote about EVERYTHING. I could almost see
things that she might see her own way. I could almost hear the music
she's listening to (it was classical), taste what she was eating,
feel what she was feeling, and could almost smell her room. She's so
much like me. She wrote so deeply. She inspires me, I realize.

I hope this inspiration will last for the sake of the coming diary
entries. I'm not quite sure what the url was of her site, and I don't
want to figure it out right now because I don't want to start over
again. I'll include it on my following entry after saving this one,
for goodness' sake!

I remember though, searching under "anne rice slash" on Yahoo, that
her site was the only result. You can try that.

Do you know what 'slash' is? I'm not talking about A SLASH (/), but
I'm talking about a kind of writing. It's sexually explicit in
nature. It's a fictional kind of story between famous
movie/novel/show characters. Characters of the same sex, for example,
louise/lestat (from Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles), usually it's
between two guys or girls.

Yes, I do read slash. Although I've only heard of it recently from a
friend named Lauren. It's interesting. Fun to read. Recommended for
anyone who's like me...

But who's 'me'?? You might wonder.

Heh. I wish I know. I said that because I don't truly know myself.
Hope that this diary will be of any help. But if you're interested on
the basics, here goes;

- Liza Louella (that would be my full name)

- 16 (..age)

- Nov. 12, '84(.. birthday)

- Naga City, Philippines (.. birthplace)

... that would be all for now. If you want to know my past, I'll have
a whole entry on that topic only, but not this one.

It has been fun pretending to write like someone's actually reading
intently and pays attention to little details. Heh. If you're like
that, a person who's really sentimental (in a certain way), you're
like mee! I'm lovin' this already, this might be a good idea after

That's all folks!


2001-05-24 - 2:47 p.m.

Hello Folks!

I just got home from school. Done eating. Homework done in
school. Study? Erm, I'll do it later. Oooh, I have a
presentation tomorrow in my Math class. Since when did we
start having presentations in math?? Not sure. Oh, I know,
this math class I'm talking about is a program. It's
advance (MTS 1), but still, I think that we should do MATH,
not language arts stuff.

I remember telling you from the last entry that I will
share my past with you... Hmm, this will be a long one.

Where do I start? Hmmkay, as you might remember, I was born
in the Philippines (that is south of Japan- if you haven't
heard of it). It's a young democratic country which, as of
now, struggling with its economy all because (& among other
things, like corruption) of the uncertainty of who's going
to take the President's position now that he has been
convicted of God-Knows-What. I've lived there all my life
until three years ago, when we finally moved here to live
with my father who petitioned us (my mom, and older
brother). It was a looong process, I'll tell ya. Took us
about 2 years to finally be approved. This isn't the usual
time though, we were suspected of God-Knows-What and were
under "Administrative Review" by the U.S. Embassy in the
Philippines. But, of course, that was completely
understandable because at that time, and it still is the
situation there I think, that corruption was at the
greatest. It's kind of like, "I'll pay you this to get
this," and it usually works.. Heh, but everybody knows
what's happening, it's just that it's hard to prevent it
from happening because the person that you might think is
suppose to stop it from happening is the 'leader' of it
all! That's how bad the corruption was/is in the
Philippines. We had medical examinations, interviews,
traveling back and forth from Naga City to Manila which was
very costly, but affordable because my Dad worked here and
he sustains us with 'Dollars' which, if you convert it in
Pesos, will be a large amount of money. So that was helpful.

I shouldn't have started with that immigrating process,
but, I'll tell you that at that stage of my life, which
only lasted for 2 years, MANY things happened that will
make your life seem a-hell-of-a-lot boring! Having said
that, I can continue and maybe jump back to tell you the
more complete version of that 2-year stage of my exciting

As you must know in order to fully understand my past, I
have stopped going to school for 2 years!!

Heh, I know that would be illegal here, since I was only 13
years old at that time! But things like that happen that
wasn't completely my fault (it was my parents fault), but
all the possible consequences of it are suffered by ME!
Now, I'm living with the fact that I am a 16 yr. old 9th
grader! Damn-it-all-the-hell!!! Aaargghhh, I hate it. I'm
suppose to be a junior, right? You see, my parents (I hate
to say this) are, I think, ignorant when it comes to how
the educational SYSTEM works. Was I suppose to know how it
worked?!? I was only a 13 yr. old girl who was in a totally
different country, with no one whom I knew, with a
different culture, different language, different lifestyle,
different EVERYTHING! *sighs* Anyway, I took this placement
test and given that fact that I've stopped school for 2
years in a row, having forgotten all that I've learned
about Math, I was behind for two full years. The counselor
saw that through the result of my testing, so she put me on
7h grade then (I was suppose to be in 9h). In the
Philippines, they would considered it as an acceleration.
Because the sytem in the Philippines is a little different.
We had no middle school, it goes like this; first,
kindergarten, prep, grades 1-6, 4 yrs of highschool, and
then another 4 yrs. of college. So I thought I wasn't
behind at all even though I knew I did bad on the test.
Heh, but good things happen too. My very first school year,
I was an all-A honor student, I was in advance Math, I was
offered to be a part of MTS 1 (a combination of math,
technology, and science), and had the highest GPA of all
the students of my entire class! How ironic, don't you

So now, I'll tell you about the things that've happened
during that 2-yr stage. During that time, we moved a lot.
Imagine all our things were sold because we thought there
will be no delays whatsoever,that we will go to 'America.'
But that was the entire opposite of what happened! After we
sold everything, our house, furnitures, etc., we were sent
a letter from the U.S. embassy dealing with
the "Administrative Review" I've told you about earlier.
So, that was the beginning of it all.

The letter basically said that 'they' needed more time to
review our application. We had no idea, at that time, how
long that 'review' will last (now, you and I both know it
lasted 2 yrs.) But we knew that something was definitely
up. They only do that when they suspect someone doing
illegal things, illegal possesion of certain documents,
mostly records from the census that is somehow 'changed' to
match the 'fake' date of whenever, illegal alterations of
computer data of some sort, I don't know. Ir's a
complicated thing. Everyone knows about it, it's no secret
at all (or else I wouldn't be saying it here, for goodness'
sake!). So, phone calls were made, letters were sent,
checks written, and we realized that we had just sold
EVERYTHING- no house to go home to, no furnitures to use,
pathetic! That was our situation then.

We had to live with relatives, how fun! NOT, it wasn't fun
at all, who am I kidding!? I forgot to mention that it was
in Manila (no place like it!). That wasn't fun so my mom
decided that we should go to Lupi, that's an old town, it's
very rural (up in the mountains kind of thing, heh). We
lived there for a couple of months. It was fun, really. I
enjoyed staying there. One reason that I enjoyed it was
this REALLY H-O-T-T guy, his name's Edgar. He's a little
too old for me at that time, I was only 14 and he was in
his late 20's. I have a thing about older guys. Don't know
why, don't ask. He was hot, but he kept on avoiding me,
heh. He must have noticed that I liked him, and maybe he
was freaked out by a 14 yr. old girl with raging hormones!
He was really nice though, and hot. I'm babbling. Where was
I? Oh yea, we, unfortunately, moved again.

This time, we moved to Manila! You have to keep in mind
that during this time, I wasn't in school. Manila.. what
can I say about it..? Well, I'll tell you that there is NO
place like it, definitely none! I think it's both heaven
and hell combined in one place. So much is going on that
when you live there, you will never feel more alive than
anywhere in the world. Your five senses is always at
maximum, even your sixth sense! Heh, just joking, but all
the confusion and the hysteria of living there makes me
want to go back for more! It might be different in your
case. People that aren't used to it thinks it's hell, and
people that ARE used to it thinks it's 'heaven'. Except for
the pullution and traffic jams, it's a really cool place.
But then again, we moved back to Naga City, and we rented a
room! Not even an apartment where it could be a little more
comfortable for 3 people! Hey, I forgot to tell you that my
brother who was almost 21 were approved, so he left while
we were left behind (sorry about that). Anyway, we lived
there for a couple of months. And then, we went back to
Manila again because the embassy always calls us for
interviews and whatnot. So, we decided that instead of
going back and forth from manila to naga, which is ten
hours of bus drive away, we were going to move to
Pampangga. Pampangga is a place near Manila. My father
originally came from there. I think he was born in
Pampangga, I'm not sure. And guess what happened next?!...
we finally were called in for our final interview in the
embassy! That was exciting. After the grueling medical
examinations where you have to strip and.. I don't even
want to go there.. So that was really nice. The ambassador
or was it just a counselor..? I don't remember. Anyway,
this person who interviewed us was REALLY nice, and he was
realy good looking. For the last week, I think we went back
to Naga to say goodbye to all the relatives, and friends,
and everyone! It was a sad and happy moment.

Ever since, I haven't gone home. Yes, I call it home still.
People say that as an immigrant, which means that you will
stay here permanently, home is here. But home is where I
came from, no place like it, nothing comes close. Aaarghh,
I hate it when I get sentimental. It's just that I've been
through a lot. Even sometimes, I feel old. It has been fun
living in the Philippines. It feels like it was only

Before I forget, Laura's diary site is
http://www.angelfire.com/pq/xarisa/diary.txt I don't know
her personally, but as I've said before, she inspired me to
do this. Read it if you have time.


2001-05-25 - 2:51 p.m.

Dear Reader,

I'm so happy, it's finally Friday! AND we don't have school
on Monday because it's a holiday (Memorial Day). I have
three nights ahead of me that I can get to sleep whenever I
want to. On weekends, I usually sleep past 12pm but no
later than 3:30am (waking up at about 12noon).

Last night, I talked with my friend online and I told him
about this diary. He's egyptian, and I only know him
through the internet. He's nice, and right now, I'm
obsessed with Egypt especially its Great Pyramid in Giza.
He's an engineer so he tells me about the geometry of it
among other things. So, don't wonder why I was in the
#egypt channel. When I'm obsessed with something, I want to
talk about it all the time. Anyway, I told him that after
reading my entries (there are only 2 so far) that he should
sign my guestbook, but when I checked it, it was empty :`(
I would like to take this chance to tell you, my dear
reader, that I would really appreciate it if you sign my
guestbook at the bottom of this page.

Ok, I want to tell you about my latest obsession. It's the
Great Pyramid. Oh, by the way, tonight's the premiere of
the show, "Egypt and Beyond," or was it, "Beyond Egypt,"
ermmmm, I'm not sure. It's on history channel. I'm
definitely going to watch it. I must tell you that the
pyramid isn't my only obsession. Space, ancient
civilizations, intelligent life on other planets (aliens!),
Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles (I'm kind of getting into
gothic stuff), and the Great Pyramid are also on the list.
Is it possible to be obsessed with more than one thing? I
think so.

First, let's talk about space. There are a lot to talk
about, but I will only discuss the things that most
interests me.

The idea that there might be life (intelligent life-
aliens!) other than us really blows my mind. I mean, why is
it that some people find it hard to believe? Ever heard of
the Drake Equation? Life can happen at the most harsh
environment here on Earth, even at the bottom of the ocean
where NO light reaches it, but there is life down there.
Just in our solar system, there are billions of stars and
stars that have planets revolving around them. Out of those
planets, how many of them are just like Earth- have just
the right distance away from the sun, have the ingredients
for life, etc.? Of course there must be one! And how many
galaxies are there? How many stars that have planets
revolving around them? How many Earth-like planets? How
many planets have intelligent beings like us? God, we're
soooo small compared to the whole universe and I don't
really think that we're that unique. And to think that the
universe is expanding...! I'm sure we're not alone. We need
new technologies, new discoveries, new inventions, new
ideas, new knowledge... If only I can make time go a little
bit faster at certain things, then maybe I might get the
chance of experiencing the thrill of new discoveries. The
thrill of finally recieving the message that they're really
out there. If only there's no limit of how fast we can go,
maybe we can recieve that message a little sooner. The
speed limit is the speed of light and that is according to
Einstein, but was he really right? I think that there
are 'things' in the universe that once you're in it, will
take you to another time or place. Like, for example a
blackhole, Einstein said that not even light could escape.
Imagine that you get sucked in it (without getting killed)
where will be the endpoint of that? Will you just
be 'sucked' in for eternity, without stopping? Erm, I think
there is a point where you hit the bottom. But where is
that place? Is it another universe, another dimension? What
if there's 16 dimensions out there, maybe more. And we only
know three of them, does that explain how some people see
into the future (like psychics), and does it explain the
phenomenon, "mind over matter?" *sighs* too much questions,
so little answers. We need people like Einstein, really.
Heh, it's possible to clone him! We just need a sample of
his bone or a little bit of his hair. But that's not
legal.. yet. He won't remember anything about his theory
though, heh. I'm sorry if I bombarded you with those

Now, the Great Pyramid is somehow connected/related to the
cosmos. I'm sure you've heard about the theory that aliens
from out there gave the egyptians the knowledge of how to
build that massive monument. I don't know what to believe.
I'm amazed by their knowledge at that time. Even now,
scientists don't know how they did it- how they build the
Great Pyramid, and where they got the knowledge of how to
build one. One theory says that Atlantis once existed and
they got the knowledge from them. Well, I don't know,
there's too much we don't know! Oh, by the way, I think
that you should visit the site Sacred Geometry, if you're
into things like this. My head hurts now. I need some rest.
I'll be back later, maybe after I watched THE show that I
was telling you about earlier on the history channel. So,


2001-05-25 - 6:52 p.m.

I'm back!

The Sacred Geometry I've mentioned earlier was on this site-
- http://www.people.vcu.edu/~chenry/