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2002-04-16 02:57:58 (UTC)

THE WEEK OF............

Well, I just thought I'd hit this thing up because I need
an outlet. I know I have a few people I can talk to, but
sometimes you can't say all that you want to. Man, all we
have is 22 more days left. It's going by so fast. I'm so
ready to graduate. This is a four day week because we don't
have school Friday and prom is Saturday. I'm ready for it
to be over. I still don't have everything together. I still
have to get shoes and the rest of my accessories. I'm not
going to stress over it though because I'll have it in
time. Anyway, I'm tired of going to my locker and there
being silence. I won't say it's just them because it's me
too. I'm being stubborn though. I don't know what's their
excuse. I would like to say something, but Jacan is going
to act the fool about it, and Dee will just look at me like
I'm stupid. So, nothing gets solve. Yeah, I know what
you're say.....you don't know that unless you try. See, I
know these girls. Jacan is....I don't have a good word for
it, but I won't say she's closed-minded....but once
something is made up in her mind....there's no changing it.
She doesn't forgive for anything....that's going to be her
downfall, I think. Dee will just look at me. She won't say
anything. I personally think she's heartless or maybe she's
just been hurt before and she doesn't give anymore. I don't
know. But I don't want to do this anymore. I try to be real
with myself, but I do speak when they speak to me. I don't
want to at times, but I do. It's not that I don't want to
be their friend anymore.....I cherish their friendship very
much. I just feel that it's not like that on the other end.
It upsets me that so much is kept secret. The fact that I
don't know who Dee is going to the prom with is messed up.
I have to hear that kind of stuff from other people.
Friendship? I don't see how it can be saved. I don't think
there is a reason to save it. We are about to go off on
different paths and we won't need each other anymore. Just
let it go is what I tell myself. But despite that, it still
gets to me. I still want them to be there, but I won't kiss
ass for it. Sorry. The crazy boy....ummmm....I won't be
talking to him anymore. I just got fed up with the "every
other day" stuff. I plainly told him today that I was sick
of it and he was not going to talk to me whenever he felt
like He wanted to. He was like, "What are you talking
about?" So, I just told him that I wasn't going to let it
be like that anymore and that I understood because little
boys act like that anyway! He got mad when I said that. I
don't feel bad for saying it because although I know I may
have been immature about some things, I never neglected him
one day and then talked to him another. I know I talked to
him everyday or tried to. It was him, but I'm not
surprised. It's something I should have known anyway. And I
think his lil ex has been calling my house playing on the
phone. I swear! It's a mess. But I did have something
happen to me today that put a smile on my face. Nick
Bolston came up to me today and we do this lil "brush the
haters off" thing, well, after we did it he said he had a
secret to tell me.......I thought he was actually going to
tell me something, but instead, he kissed me on the cheek.
AWwww....that was sweet. Along with bad, there will be some
good. Thanx Nick Bean for making me smile today**xoxo**

DONE IS DONE~(Lady Macbeth)


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