NoOneKnows

Absense
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Ezoic
2002-04-16 01:57:52 (UTC)

Does anyone have time?

Im so goddam motherfuckin pissed off...def feel like ive
been let down...like no one has time for me...no one gives
a fuck...how can he jus do that to me...he's going out with
some1? pulleezz he was so goddam head over heals for me
that he was crushed when i said anything about a break and
he was upset...now a month or so more later he's going out
wit a girl for 2 days and is ditching me to go to the prom
with her...calls me up...and basically tells me that a
junior prom is more important than me and my birthday and
the incubus concert....he promised he'd go with me...and we
made these plans for the concert after we broke up...this
is total bullshit...he's so gay why did i go out wit him
that long...ooo now he's all cool and smokes cigars and
drinks and is going out with probably sum fat ugly chick
thats gunna screw him over n e wayz...i hope he enjoys it
cuz he jus ruined our friendship over it...god he tells me
he doesnt kno how i expect him to be friendz so soon..well
fuck we were great as freindz there for practically a month
but now it's such a problem for him? orrr wait is it a
problem for sean...his new brain?...yea cuz sean was
successful...like he alwayz said sean alwayz tried to break
up his friendz and their gf's....HAH! he sayz he changed to
be with me...what bullshit is that..even dave and cj know
better than that...he's not fooling anyone but himself...

Then on the other hand here's my heart left hanging by a
string bcuz i dont kno what to do...i have feelings for
dave again and he feels the same but he doesnt think it'd
be fair to have a relationship cuz he wont have time to put
into it and before long we're gunna be going to college
apart...welll i dunno but all i know is that if i go to
college next fall without trying to be with dave i think im
gunna regret it big time...he complained that he alwayz get
screwed over in relationships bcuz he does allthe work and
all the trying...he then later admited that when we were
together i did try and he was the person that fucked things
up...yet he doesnt seem to remember saying that cuz if he
did he would realize that if we both try then theres no way
it wouldnt work out...we both want it...and we both kno
that we try way to hard in relationships ...even tho ive
never seen him try as hard as he says he does but
still...ALL I KNO IS THAT WHEN IM WITH HIM I FEEL SOMETHING
GREAT..AND WHEN I KISS HIM THERES SOMETHING
THERE...SOMETHING GREAT THAT REMINDS ME OF WHAT WAS AND
WHAT CAN BE...IT MAKES ME RELIVE PAST FEELINGS AND WANT HIM
SO MUCH MORE...WHEN HE'S HOLDING ME IN HIS ARMS LATE AT
NITE AS WE FALL ASLEEP TOGETHER I FEEL LIKE EVERYTHINGS
RIGHT...I LUV BEING IN HIS ARMS IT FEELS SO RIGHT AND HE
KNOWS IT TOO...HE LOVES IT...BUT HE CANT BE BOTHERED
WORKING FOR IT IS WHAT IM THINKING...
but point taken...he does make sense when he says hes gunna
be working so much over the summer and the next thing we
know we'll be 7hrs away from one another in college...but
babe if my brother could work a long distance relationship
so could we...but wait it was the nite after prom and
weekend after that my brother and his now girlfriend of 5
yrs got together...maybe that will be out defining moment
too...wouldnt that be romantic and extremely exciting...i
wish it could be...iguess ill have to wait n see tho...

god my hands hurt...its hot and im so sick of crying...now
that my bday is already ruined and i get to go to incubus
alone on my bday i think i will end this entry here...

one last note...people suck...


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