.Scream Your Dream.

Emo Violence
2002-04-16 00:37:19 (UTC)

broken sore and stiff

*well incase you failed to notice, incase you failed to
see, this is my heart bleeding before you, this is me down
on my knees*

so im trying to, yet again, peice together the events of a
rediculous weekend. im scared of ernie now, i have no idea
what he smokes, and im nervous of what was in it... bryse
looked at what she bought from him, up close, and flushed
it down the toliet, i thought of my intense mood swings,
and soo emotional, i felt like crying all day, and did a
few times, i snapped at everyone, and i couldnt take even
being away, it was too insane. i felt the same way after
last weekend's adventures, i dismissed it as side affects
to pills i took. i think i was wrong. i guess i should
recap the friday and saturday days.

friday night we went to the brand new show in west chester,
i was excited for it too, soo excited. jill bryse and i
went, ernie matt dustin ray and dustin met us there. i was
happy to see them all! lots of other kids... over all the
show kinda sucked, brand new played super crappy, good
thing frineds were there. afterwards joe from DU gave me
bryse and jill a ride to jeff raum's house where we planned
to party, he was pretty messed up, and told rediculous
racist jokes. though the situation was goofy. anyway, we
get to raum's and there was bad vibes, so we left, which i
didnt mind, i didnt want to piss anyone off. we met ray
mike and ernie at this liquor store and hung out shadily
untill we planned to head to wilmington to go to
will "vegan" keegan's house, which was an ok time, awkward
for the girls though, but funny. then we went to grotto's
with will and his friend andrew(?) they were really drunk,
and were even drinking at the pizza place, after hanging
there for a while... the adventure began! we headed to
mike haley's studio apartment, there was a birthday party
there, i was nervous though exctied as always. we get
there... see some boy, on the street, tripped out, staring
into an empty glass window. he was zoned out. we kept
walking, once outside the door, we called up to mike and
his friend on teh balcony. he said the party was full, but
asked for our names, we gave em, and said Ray akers, and
they were like "hell yeah! come up!" the 7(?) of us were
tossed down a shady ring of keys, and unlocked these big
green double doors, and walked up lots of steps, i was so
anxious, i didnt know what to expect!! we walk in and it
was HIPSTER TO THE MAX! oh my god, i had never seen so much
died black hair on elite fuckin kids. it was CRAZY, i saw
clint with his sister, (WEIRD!) and paul from the panzer
devision, mike haley and a few others that looked familiar.
i was ready to talk to people, and i did, i drank too,
there were lots of alcohol, and drugs, hard drugs,
apparently ernie and ray were on coke that night too.
definatly strange. we chilled talked and smoked till about
2am, i met lots of kids, and witnessed...
some sort of "brothel" room (SCAREY!!)
a guy we met, D-Kqaine FLIPPING out and screaming at the
whole lot of people about "getting hit with a bottle"
some guy punching his girl (or x-girl) in the face and then
hitting her with a bottle.
just WEIRD STUFF, the guy the party was for, andrew, was so
fucked up on heroin or coke or somthing that he had to be
held down. it was nice to hang out with mike, though he's
weird around me when he's with people i dont know. we left
later, and ernie gave jill bryse and i ride home... which
was nice of him, but he apparently didnt even remember
making the trip (more scarry) we got home, and i went to
sleep, i was fucken tired. i slept in a little that morning
at bryse's.

Saturday night was yet ANOTHER adventure with drugs alcohol
and friends. that will be in installment 2 of my weekend
fun report. (fun or fright?) anyway, peace and love.