emmychloe

the random confessions of a teenager
Ad 2:
2002-04-15 00:42:32 (UTC)

student exchange programs are the SHITS...and so is my life

Yeah, so this girl, Annika, is staying at my house for two
weeks (its already been a week though, thank G-d) and she's
such a fucking spoiled brat.
She waves her garbage in my face until a take it from her.
She refuses to go anywhere by herself, even if we're
standing right next to the bathroom, I have to physically
take her there
She doesn't let me talk to anyone, really
She thinks she's the authority on everything
She's so damn physical. It's like, hey, if you're a really
close friend of mine, then ok, you can put your arm around
me, whatever. But if I just met you, don't fuckin poke me
every five seconds.

I want to go to germany for the exchange program, but not
if I hafta stay at her house!!! I mean, DAMN. I might just
stay with another host family then, but it's like, I dno't
want to have to meet a whoel new family, and become friends
with them and all that shit.

So also with the G-A thing, I met this 14 year old girl
from NJ. Who is so sweet, innocent, not a virgin, very nice
girl. Yeah, she's not a virgin, and that really screwed me
over. Not cuz she's not a virgin, I know a lot of people
who aren't, but b/c everyone thinks she's so innocent!!!

But another side note...one of my friends went down on a
guy that the two of us sort of "pass around." how fucked up
is that? Yeah, so I need a guy...I need a guy that I'm
never gonna see again...just me and
him....yeah.............then i need another guy that i can
actually talk to. It seems like everyone but me is "pairing
up" tobias and jenna, amy and torsten, tt and james...life
shits bullets.

i swear i'm so depressed...maybe i've just been listening
to chris carraba (dashboard confessional) too much, i love
him so much. when my day has been the shits, i put in his
cd and chill to it. it's never removed from my cd player.

ever.

two or three dashboard lyrics i refer to:

"So this is odd, the painful realization that has all gone
wrong. And nobody cares at all, and nobody cares at all.
And the plaster dented from your fist in the hall where you
had your first kiss reminds you that the memories will
fade."

"Does it comfort you to know you fought the good fight?
Basking in your victory, hollow and alone to boast your
bitter bragging rights to anyone who'll listen. While
you're left with nothing tangible to gain."

"Buried deep as you can dig inside yourself,and covered
with a perfect shell, such a charming beautiful exterior.
This is one time that you can't fake it hard enough to
please everyone or anyone at all. And the grave that you
refuse to leave the refuge that you've built to flee the
places you have come to fear the most. Buried deep as you
can dig inside yourself, and hidden in the public eye. Such
a stellar monument to loneliness. Laced with brilliant
smiles and shining eyes and perfect makeup but you're
barely scraping by."


oh, and if you're reading this...to my so-called best
friend: FUCK OFF


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