AngeL w/o WinGs

-=-My So Called Life-=-
2002-04-14 03:11:57 (UTC)

It's been awhile

So.....alot has happened since the last time i've recorded
the 'oh so shanen' happenings of my life. i got a job over
spring break at claires. it is this cute little makeup and
hairstuff and jewelery boutique at the local mall. i beat
my best friend amanda out for the job, but we're cool about
it. the girls at work....there is nicole n. she is the head
manager, she is 24, and she's a very sugary sweet type of
girl. but she is ALL for giving your 110%. then there is
jenn lopez(haha yupp), and she is all about getting pissed
off at little kids and meeting guys, she is 20. then there
is michelle and she is 16 like me and she is hyper and
crazy and never stops talking. then there is nicole d.
(nikki), and she is 18 and a senior, and shes really cool.
so i just worked w/ nikki tonight and it was fun, but i
forgot my working papers there. goddamnit. tonight was
erin h.'s surprise sweet 16, i couldnt go. earlier today
there was a boy lacrosse game away at st. rose, and it was
early. we lost both games.....but the busrides were fun,
and it was really really hot today. all of us got sunburned
on the left part of everywhere on us.
the boys.....i'm starting to despise the once oh so sweet
adam miller. he seems like such a jerk and tries to avoid
me as much as possible and i dont see why at all. then mike
grom and rob m.b. are like my brothers. alottA the jv boys
are cute. jesse likes kristen, but him and cait might go
out again, but all the lax boys luv kristen, and all she
wants is her ex bf var. lax justin, and he sux. he really
really does, he sits w/ us at lunch and she is 100x better
than his sorry butt. i wish i could make her understand
i still havent fallen in love w/ anyone again yet. its
really quite sad, especially since the one boy i did fall
in love with.....well it turned out he most likely didnt
REALLY care about me at all. and then he goes to totally
ugh girls after me. that brings down my self esteem so
much....but hey, whats a girl to do?

hes a jerk though, i know that now. but sometimes i still
hear his voice or see that intense look he used to have in
his eyes, maybe while i'm in the car or even sleeping...and
it just hurts, ya kno? cuz this was the boy i would have
given anything for, and the boy i gave my all. i wonder if
he knows that.....i wonder if he cares.

oh well life is life.

mark towles dad died the other day, and i went to the wake
last night. he is a sweet boy i hang out w/ time to time.
his dad had a heartattack in the middle of the night, and
my heart aches for mark. i realize the pain he must be
going through, and this is an especially hard time in a
person's life..the teen years, a tragedy like this could
totally mess a kid up. but he seems to be handling it well.
oh if only i could give him a hug right now. i pray for his
father and for mark and his whole family everynight in my

corey and marisa seem to be having.....issues. who knows if
theyll resolve them.

i want a boyfriend...but i dont want a boyfriend. its
weird, i guess hes just gotta be *the one*, but i seriously
doubt thatll happen anytime soon.

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