a watercolour stain
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clouds and raindrops, so much like the darkness and tears
that have been surrounding me, suffocating me as of late.
my chest contains a deep seated ache that won't go away. i
want to be healthy. i want to be beautiful and pure.
(well, maybe not that pure.) i want to lie in the grass
and feel the sunshine on my face. i want to run...far.
*i spoke to R today. it was a long and interesting
comversation to say the least. he made me laugh. it felt
marvelous to just open up and laugh like that. that's
something i could use more of. he sends my soul soaring.
we seem to have some hidden magical connection.*
oh i get little or no sleep. endlessly painting and
creating. and a little chubby. my arm is numb and my mind
wants to buckle. where am i going??