My Journal
2000-12-20 06:31:34 (UTC)

Hey, Well It s 12:21 and I got..

Well It's 12:21 and I got home from homegroup at 12. It was
great. Paul really liked the collage..shyess! I was so
hoping he would.....he said thanks to me like 3 times, 2
times maybe i dunno...but everybody was looking at it and
stuff. :) And he put it over his bed, so I'm like shyess.
Homegroup was so awesome. God is so awesome...man....I
can't believe how great He is to me. It's so hard to
understand, to comprehend. I can't understand how he would
treat me the way he does, after I haven't treated him that
great latley. I'm trying though. Newayz, what I don't get
is...I got out of a really bad church and lost all of my
friends, just about every friend i have ever had....and God
sends me this great and awesome chruch w/ all these awesome
people. Ugh. It's really really weird too. About Paul i
mean. I don't want to like him, I'm trying not to, b/c all
I want is God right now and nothing else. but it's weird,
It's like paul is always watching me...and he is the only
pereson in my whole life that i have told my life story.
and he made me realize that the reason whhy God has made me
go through all that was to tell me that he will always be
there for me, no matter what. Paul doesn't know that he
helped me realise that though. And I keep finding out all
these things we have in common..and he probably doesn't
know that either. and i'm certainly not going to talk to
him about it, but you know what else? I'm not going to
worry about it either.......i asked God that if I was
supposed to like Paul or whatever, to keep the feelings
there, and if i'm not , then take them away, ya know? But I
dont care, ill let God take care of it, b/c he is so
awesome. man i was planning on having this awesome worship
time w/ god tonight, but my mom is in my bed, so i can't
dang it. but maybe tomorrow . i hope. but newayz i better
go..........ill write more tomorrow