2002-04-12 21:05:48 (UTC)


i guess time will tell,eh? i'm finding that this long
distance relationship thing with scottie is getting harder
and harder to do. let's face it. he isn't here. and, i
keep asking myself, why am i wasting time on someone who
obviously doesn't want to be with me. maybe that's
something that i should approach with him. and, would it
be so bad to cut things off? it wouldn't be so damn
torturous, being single.

urgh! the thoughts for the day.

so, sadness isn't one of those emotions that i'm fimilar
with. having a grandmother that told me that i couldn't
cry at daddy's funeral, a mother that is almost always
making fun of a situation. doesn't leave for a very
emotionally stable situation, eh? and, what the hell am i
going to do? how do you correct something like that?

there's too much to deal with right now. i've written a
complaint to the california bar association regarding an
attorney here in the county. that's something that i feel
i had the right to do, and that i'm also very nervous about
doing. we shall see. am i the bad person now? despite
the fact that i've stood up for myself?

and, can i trust scottie? would he tell me if he was
dating someone over there? i don't know.