humming bird

my F***ed up head
2002-04-12 01:56:38 (UTC)

trix of the trade

well ... i realized someting....ever since i lost him i
leanred alot.... and i put up a brick wall. i havent
allowed myself to actually have feelings for any guy that
may actually escalate to anything more then just a crush or
even a lil spark of interest.... becuz liking turns into
relationships and those just end in pain and i have had
enough.... i have learned what guys do. how their minds
work and all the lil trix they play..just how they get
themselves into and out of those never ending oh so ironic
messes that leave them ending up like the asshole...all the
lines they use.... but i also learned how to turn it all
around and use it to my advantage... i am not the drama
queen i use to be... i am not the average teenage girl who
is constantly turning her life into a self induced real
live version of the jerry springer show or some cheap soap
opera.. see girls walk around looking for guys...always....
they are always looking for that perfect guy so they can be
envy of all their friends for a couple months and have a
lil fairy tale romance and then the normal heartbreak that
feels like it'll never fade until they see the next hottie
walk in the room -and any guy the shows the slightes bit of
interest in them they get attached to and think that that
guy likes them...and if the guy kisses them then they have
all the thoughts of "omg is he gonna call me?" "does he
like me" "what did it mean" and blah blah blah running
thru their head and then when it turns out that all the guy
wanted was alil ass they are completely heartbroken, and go
gossiping to all their friends about how much of an asshole
he is... guys walk around having girls falling at their
feet but their never willing to catch them ..and the girls
are the ones who get hurt.... well i learned it's much much
easier to be the girl who walks around having guys falling
at her feet... yeah it's a superficial bitchy fact... but
like i said... i put up a wall.... i got hurt more then i
ever thought possible...more then i ever thought i would
allow to happen... and now im not gonna allow it to happen
again... its as simple as that........dont get me wrong if
i see a guy and it truns into someting serious u know...
something a lil out of the ordinary and what i see as worth
my time then yeah i'll go for it but until a guy comes
along to fit my profile... i'm chillin......cuz guys arent
worth crying over and then one who is wont make u
cry........julz