Jencaero

Happy Noodle Boy Rox!
2002-04-12 00:48:14 (UTC)

geez

god its so fucking annoying and i know i cant take it much
longer. too much friggin pressure its overwhelming and i
already put the fucking pressure on myself! she says
things and she doesnt know that they hurt they fucking
hurt!
my god
god
god
why the hell is it like this
always always
she starts it off... if you dont do well we wont take you
to tournaments.
fuck the tournaments man
fuck them. fuck everything.its not fucking fair i feel
like hitting something cutting something why doesnt she
LISTEN!!!!!!!! when she says things they always friggin
hurt they hurt a lot and damnit
shes been pressuring me to go to TCU for over a fucking
year now AND I DONT FUCKING WANT TO GO WHY CANT=SHE
FUCKING UNDERSTAND I DONT CARE HOW GOOD THE PLAYERS ARE
ELIZABETH IS FUCKING THERE
AND SHE ALWAYS SAID TO STAY AWAY FROM LIZ IN TENNIS
but she wants to send me to the wolves. and she says that
im getting nowhere
nowhere
and it damn hurts because i already have ME on my back
i dont need her
i dont need dad
i dont need coach
i dont neeed anyone elses pressure on me
i have enough pressure on myself to cover EVERYONE
im going to explode soon or something i swear because i
cant just argue anymore i want to fucking cuss their
brains out
then maybe theyd LISTEN know i was SERIOUS damnit
damnit it just fucking hurts so much
when your mother tells you
youre going nowhere if you dont do what she says
she doesnt even know how i fucking play
she doesnt take the time to watch me
she doesnt take the time
just to drive me
she acts like she doesnt care but when its time for me to
practice
she limits it all to fucking one
because she wont fucking drive anywhere else
she wont pay for ridglea
and i wont get better if i dont listen to her
whove ive been fucking able to beat since i was fucking 7
but this isnt about tennis this isnt about that
its about her
and me
we never get along it seems like and
i dont know her
she judges me
and iknow i do te same i jhust dont see myself
damnit i cant find the keys im typing with my eyes closed
and im still crying
crying doesnt help
if it doesnt then why do i fucking do it
and i know im being immature but i cant help it
i dont know what to do
im digging my grave
i have no options
maybe ill just fucking quit
forever and ever
just quit tennis quit school quit life
i mean it sounds so easy
curl up into a little ball
keep things out
just drown in my tears
itd be welcome