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2001-05-24 14:12:55 (UTC)

May 24, 2001

Another daym early morning! awake n alone...we'll yesterday
a very good friend of mines tried to commit suicide...I
feel just so could he do this to himself? and
make like it wasn't anything n just laugh..while on the
other hand i was hella concerned...oh well...lately i just
haven't been able to sleep! its so fustrating so i turn to
this stupid computer..i swear this big old internet thing
is just a big ass bootie call...but o-well...this sucks im
still single..this has been the longest ever..has someone
cursed me? or am I just to picky? i can't be able to find a
great guy..just someone who is decent n dosen't just
looking forward to sex...

lets see whatelse is there...i guess lately i just been having way to
much to think about..the one thing i still can't get alan..i
still work with the fool...n the thing that hurts the that
the first reason why i went back to that job is just to see that isn't that straight retarded...i just wish i never
left..but i guess everything happens for a reason..but i just miss
him in my arms n just ugh! im not certain if i should just talk to
him n let him know how i feel...shall i follow my gut or heart? till
this day i just don't know what to do...i think i shall go to sleep n
continue this stupid journal later...

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