This is me...trying to find myself.
2001-05-24 11:32:12 (UTC)

Maybe the writting part helps...

I talked to nick yesterday online again...
i asked him why he hated me and all this other stuff and if
anyones mad at soemone ..iot should be me mad at him b/c of
all the times hes lied to me...
Well we're friends again. I'm not planning on goign
out with him again though. Because boyfriend and
girlfriends are spose to trust each other and right now, i
dont feel like trusting anyone so well yeah.
Well, it's And I'm Waiting for my ride to
get here. I still hafta make my lunch, brush my teeth, take
my medicine, and some other stuff. But this way I make my
self late, wh/ in turn makes them late, and then makes me
late for school where i don't hafta wait outside and talk
to anyone.
I'm just getting really annoyed with Michele, emily,
and now Sara. B/c they keep saying stuff like..."Yeah. What
did CAITLIN do?" and "Emily, I can't remember what CAITLIN
did." and "Did you hear what CAITLIN did?"
I have no idea about what they're talking about but
I'm goign to ask Ashley K. today b/c yesterday she sat at
their lunch table and she was about to tell me after lunch
but she never really finished her story.
All I heard her say was something about a shirt. B/c
Like Emily GAVE me a shirt and then when Michele got mad at
me, she decided that she needed it back. And well i gave it
to her. But since she gave it to me and i never really wore
it anyways, I figured it wouldnt make a differance if I
painted my room, while wearing it.
I ended up getting a little bit of paint on it, by
the collar. And then Michele IMed me the other day and was
like why did you discolor Emily's shirt? It went from green
to brown now. I was like for one she gave it to me, and two
it looked like green to me.
The thing that really gets on my nerves is that they,
well me too , (when I was in their "group") always mde fun
of people....To feel more superior i guess...So
they...we... could make something out of our
mediocore , "world revolves around me" , pathetic, lives....
(Not neccesaryly pathetic..just like we have nothing better
to do then to make fun of people...their live are like
completly impasse...From my piont of view..they're goign
Anyways...They, we, make fun of people and those
people sometimes, usually, cry...but then no matter how
harsh they, we, were they still want to be friends with
them (Michele, Emily, and Emilia).
Like Genevieve. we made fun of her talked about her
behind her back and called her a whore,jokingly, and said
she was annoying. Then I got to know her a lot better and
for a whiles she was like one of my best friends. Then
Emily steps in..and of course Emily is a much better frined
than me....thats right ..she even takes friends away from
other people...
I don't blame geneveivg though. There's like this
certain they have and it like posses you
and no matter how bac they treat you no matter how many
times they've made you feel like satill want to
be their friend...well you want them to be yours.
Like Ana, made her cry, she still loves them. Sara,
called her fat ugly, mooed at her, still wants to be her
friend...(But like sara, in my opinion, doesnt have that
much confindance...)

and hey i g2g my ride is goign to be here soon