Shot

Dirty Fractyl
2002-04-10 20:57:33 (UTC)

Esta noche...espero, deseo...que todo vaya bien

Well, I have a test. I am taking it off, though. We do get
a drop grade in this class, and I just don't have the
motivation in me right now to study--I really don't. I'd
rather not take it than half-ass study and then get a crappy
grade. Morale counts for something.

Yeah, so the title, "Tonight...I hope, I wish...that
everything goes well." I am just excited to see Jen
tonight. I really have a good feeling about this for some
reason. We did talk for an hour and a half last night, and
she continues to stimulate my mind conversationally. I do
not want to build up hopes to watch them fall, but it is
hard not to get a little excited. I told her I was looking
forward a lot to seeing her, and she said "tomorrow will be
hard." And I didn't know what she meant. She continued,
"Going through all day at work...just wanting to see you
tomorrow night. I'm really looking forward to it, too."
That, for sure, makes me a happy boy :)

I think I am pretty near to deciding to just focus on Jen
and not Jennifer (yes, they are different girls) because she
is closer to my age. Granted, Jennifer is physically a 10
without doubt, extremely hot, and available...but she is a
busy, busy girl, working 6 of 7 nights, and that would make
starting anything pretty difficult. Besides, a girl that is
a year older than me appeals more than a girl 3 years
younger. Yes, it does.

I feel a poem coming tonight. The heart is awakening. "The
Awakening" by Kate Chopin. What a terrible, whiny book that
was. Just a passing thought. My heart is coming to life.
There, no awakening. Much better.

"My Love"
Westlife

An empty street
An empty house
I hold inside my heart
I'm all alone
The rooms are getting smaller
I wonder how
I wonder why
I wonder where they are
The days we had
The songs we sang together
And all my life
I'm holding on forever
Reaching for a love that seems so far

So I say a little prayer
And hope my dreams will take me there
Where the skies are blue
To see you once again my love
Over seas and coast to coast
To find the place I love the most
Where the fields are green
To see you once again my love...

I try to read like you're the world
I'm laughing with my friends
But I cant stop to keep myself from thinking
I wonder how
I wonder why
I wonder where they are
The days we had
The songs we sang together
And all my life
I'm holding on forever
Reaching for a love that seems so far

To hold you in my arms
To promise you my love
To tell you from my heart
Of all I'm thinking of...
Reaching for a love that seems so far...
----------------------------------

You know who your love is.
You know where she is.
You hear her voice,
And can still her face in your mind.
And yet,
Still,
You progress onwards...
As though the significance of love is never enough, I
digress.

And still, I pretend as though I even know what love is.

Lie like a wounded horse,
And await a bullet through the head.
While never self inflicted,
ere so little left to be said.