stitches5

My Life
2002-04-10 18:46:48 (UTC)

kinda blah today =/

well..heres the thing my fiance hasnt written to me for 5
days..i wish i knew if he was ok..i know i diddnt do anything
wrong bcz im me..no no not like that anyhow even when i am
angry at him i refuse to describe exactly how i feel bcz i
know people say things they dont mean in the heat of an
argument and i refuse to fuck things up just to get things
off my chest i love him more then i hae ever imagined..i dont
know what to write i dont know if it even matters no one
reads this shit anyhow..im expecting to get his letter in the
mail today he sent it the last day i talked to him or maybe
the day after..hes sending me his ring. how sweet huh? ive
been really mad lately..im, gonna end up being one of them
annorexic people or something..
my mom thinks so too..bcz i dunno i have tons of flaws..but if
u look at a pic they kinda blend..but ithink im totally
disguisting im always told im pretty and "Hot" but i think the
world just dosent want me all depressed...i dont have any
friends here wich is prolly better...basiccally all my life i had
these fucked up relationships..i used them for attention,etc.
and they abused me..and the times i actually did care for them
i wasnt cared for back..prolly why im so fucked in te
head..anyhow the point is basically my whole life except for a
few people i liked,kissed,dated,....most of them about 2 yrs old
i was boy/girl crazy i blame my father for that he left when
i was four so i always had to be shown love..and
attention..now its not that way ive blocked people out..i have
family and a fiance and thast it..though thats all i need i
wont say to be appy bcz when ur enggaed to someone
online..ur not fully happy until ur fully with them..wich he is
moving in with me and mom on july 10th then i will be fully
happy..tho when he is online im always smiling..im gonna g my
cat keeps knocking its bag of food over i think hes trying
totell me something..heh.
brandy motil. please feel free to respond unless ur going to
bitch bcz im engaged online then u can fuck off




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