xdruggie

The Xdruggie Files
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2002-04-09 20:46:14 (UTC)

Hello...my antidepressants are not working.

I am writing a short story in a Southern Gothic horror
style about the MS delta. I seem to be actually working on
it...scary.

Lots of weird shit happening that i will go into detail
about some other time. I am doing some volunteering at a
local charity and got asked by an employee to go to a
casino...i sooooo wanted to go and get drunk, and wired,
and fucked. It was really scary like i said and i had it
all planned out in my head. It's weird that someone in the
program would want you to relapse with them, but i know
people that have been brought down that way before.

I couln't do that to Tony. I am really worried about
him...16 years of never getting sick and now we have known
each other about a month and a half and he has been sick
the entire time...I don't know what to do other than be
here for him...i think i am falling for him.

Not feeling well a lot. Always tired. seeing my old shrink
again...i love him. he is one good thing about being back
here...who knew that MS could have such an awesome shrink?
need new meds..i am anxious all the time. panic attack
city.

Need to go get an HIV test. I have nightmares of
seroconverting all the time. I don't know how to feel. But
i know i am having safe sex and i am not worried about
now...it's my past coming back to haunt me-yet again.

XD


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