alise

Rant Diary
2002-04-08 22:48:14 (UTC)

The end.

I think my search is over.

I believe I have finally found someone I can trust with my
heart.
Granted, he made it clear that I could trust him long ago…
but I wasn’t listening... I was too busy trying to get the
attention of my then -girlfreind, now ex. But now that I
know better, I am slowly but surely leaving her behind.
However, as much as he seems perfect, I can't help but be
wary of him. My ex pretty much shattered my ability to
trust anyone, anymore.

Even though she has found someone new as well, I think that
she will be upset with me once she finds out about my
plans. I don’t know why, especially since she even admits
that she screwed me over for the past 4 years.

I’ll never understand why she got angry with me in the past
over this same fellow: I was truly all for her, but she
treated me horribly which led me to seek other company to
talk to, especially since she’d invited her other beau to
live with us without my permission and was always in the
bedroom with him.
Does she honestly think that I’d stay around for that???

Now that I’m free from her, I have my own plans. She thinks
that I’m hoping that one day, we’ll get back together— not
if I intend on keeping my sanity, I won’t !

Especially since I found out she never really loved me in
the first place, from her own mouth. I wasted four years of
my life on her. I wasted mass amounts of money, time,
energy and self on her, when I could have been single or
finding someone better.

And now I have.

Here’s to her and her newest beau. They’re getting married
after only 5 months of talking to each other on the net.
They’re rebounding like crazy, both of them have problems,
and they’re moving way to fast. In fact, they’ve already
hit major turbulence. Neither one of them seem to know how
to maintain a relationship.

I personally hope it all falls apart. I used to wish them
luck, but not after she told me she never cared for me. I
wasted my life on this girl, thinking that with patience
and time and love, she would finally come around, since she
said she loved me and yet never showed it.

I hope that she has her spirit crushed like she did mine. I
hope she is never happy. Between her beaus who she flings
around like dolls, her irresponsible use of her version of
polyamory, and the ease with which she goes around making
trouble for others and them blaming them for her actions, I
truly hope that until she straightens up and lives in the
real world, that all she has ever hoped for in the ways of
love and happiness will crumble in her hands over and over
again.




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