living life
2002-04-08 20:10:32 (UTC)

Rain Rain go Away!!!

It's Monday and it's raining like a bitch and now Im
soaking wet. I went with Kel is the chriopracter an man
are those guys hot...ooops I hurt my back now I have to
go too. hehehehe. Im such a dork. I got to talk to Nate
on the phone today and it was awesome. We connect
on a level that is kinda strange to me. I mean it's a good
thing and I like it, but I've never had this before. He
wrote me 2 poems but those are for my eyes only not
yours. They are really sweet and very none-cheesy. I
want my phsyical Therapy school stuff to come in so I
can see what Im gonna do. I have to still register for my
class for next semester but since I dont want to come
back Im not looking foward to it. Its funny how none of
my friends here know this little secret that Im keeping
from them. I talk about becoming a massage therapist
but I think that they think it's a joke. Well it's not it's more
realistic then me producing movies now itst it?? My
Grandmother always told me I was good at it and thats
what I should do with my life and now that she is gone I
feel I should make her happy. I know she would be
proud with anything I would dojust as long as Im happy
but I didnt get much time with her and I know there
would a huge smile on her face to see me in that field
of work and then I just imagine her looking over at my
grandfather ( who I never got to meet) and saying " thats
my girl down there makine me proud" Grandma I never
told you goodbye or that I love you when you left and Im
sorry but please know I have always loved you and I
never will stop thinking about you. I picture you daily
and I always smile and think of how happy you made
me and that God took you to early. There is a song out
by DMX that reminds me of you called "Grandma" and
everytime I listen to I think of you and cry just as I am
now. I regret never showing my tears at your funneral.
Everyone must have thught I was cold-hearted but
everytime I think of you I shear some tears because you
always told me you would watch me graduate and you
would watch me get married. I know it's not your fault
that you didn't or cant now and I know you were there in
spirit with me. You and Joe were there with me!
grandma I miss you!! I have to go now and wipe my
eyes! In memory of Agnes Glanzman