Ad 2:
2002-04-08 10:51:02 (UTC)

well i dont know if i..

well i dont know if i completely believe everything you
said, but since there is nothing else, i'll take that. i
have realized that i dont want you back anymore as you
are. i love you but for who you used to be, how you used
to make me feel. and if i could if i had any choice i
wanted and i had you the old you id give you everything and
more. but you say i wont. ever and never are strong words
and apparently they mean more when making promises to
yourself than when making promises to me. i think its a
cop out an excuse cus if it were a real reason, its
ridiculous. but if i cant fix this ever you say than i
have to give up. i'll take the balme and leave it at
that. i made a mistake that ruined it all for myself and
even worse hurt someone i love very much. and if youre
honest and it meant that muich to you that you'll never
forgive or feel the same, then i cant do anything now,
except listen to you say that youre done and hate myself as
you intneded and go on about my life. but know that i care
about you much more than myself. and the reason i have not
done anyhting since you told me last may how much it hupset
you was for you not me. sex means nothing to me anymore
and i have not had sex for you and only you. so if i have
no ope left you took it all when you said "Im done i will
never be with you ever again," then dont use anything from
this point on against me in the future. if you are so
sure, then i dont give a shit about anything. but if you
are so sure, this is it, i will take the blame accept your
closure and i will not keep any hoipe. but very sure that
youre sure adn from now on i'll keep my feelings to myself
as i try to change them. i will never be your friend
without wanting to be with you so i think itd be beter to
have distance at least for now until i can change how i
feel. but thats it then. i dont have much else to say.

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