blushing

is it over yet?
2002-04-08 04:33:55 (UTC)

i miss you mom

i miss you. more than i can ever express in words. maybe if
you were still here, things wouldnt be so fucked. maybe dad
would still be alright. maybe i wouldnt be on the verge of
going insane....or on the verge of death. i miss you, mom. i
want you to lean over me and tell me that he still loves me.
that you still love me. that whatever happens, you'll always
be proud of me. am i something that youre proud of? i want
you to tell me im beautiful. you were the only one that ever
called me that, maybe in your eyes, i still am. are you
ashamed of me? do you wish that you were still here, to
watch me grow up? to see when i graduated 8th grade and dad
didnt show up because he was passed out on the living room
floor? or when i turned 16 and jon and bill pitched in and
bought me my first car that dad now drives? how about 3
months ago when i tried to commit suicide and i was
committed for 2 weeks? arent you glad that youre not around
anymore? arent you glad that you didnt have to watch such a
screw up grow up? i miss you. im sorry if i let you down. i
hope that one day...i'll make you proud.
margo




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