faiien angei

a day in the life...
2002-04-08 02:23:08 (UTC)

dont know why i'm posting today

i really dnt have much to say at the moment.
went out with morgan last night and we went on to have a
bit of a talk. he asked me why felt so uncomfortable with
him when we had sex...i kinda got quiet and he called me on
it. he told me that he knew thati had something that i
wanted to tell him...that i knew my answer but was afraid o
say anything...so very right. i knew at that point that it
was time to tell him about jason. he was very cool about it.
morgan just rocks. i like hnging out with him...i always
have a good time when we're together...to bad he's not
jason..but i guess you cant have your cake and eat it too.

*****

i see you couldnt catch your breath, believe me, it's all
that it must be.
you see, i never said my piece, if only you left it that
easy.
fractured we have been since sometime 16
failure was on me cause your ideals bore me.
does it take the fireworks to make you look in wonder?
would you give reaction to the cause i'm under?
so colored by you, but your monkey messed it up.
surrendered by you, your monkeys long while had enough.
you're like scissors in my coat,
you're like splinters in my cup...
I know you couldn't care any less
Keep hoping it's all only token
You know I never had my say
If only you'd keep it that open
Loser i have been, but it's lost on me.
Splintered I will be when your peace breaks cheap...
you're like scissors i my coat
you're like splinters in my cup

*****sneaker pimps**splinter*****

sorry, went on a rant there...i think i could just go and
spout off their lyrics for every situation i've ever been
in. i love how if you dont listen to the lyrics, you think
it's pretty...but once you pay attention, you realize how
dark and dismal it all really is...art immitating life.
sometimes, i can walk outside and just think that life is
the most beautful thing...my body will become warm and
fuzzy...the clouds in the sky...the little flowers on the
bush that smell so wonderful and fill my nose with instant
love...the sense that exsistance its self is just so
powerful...and sometimes i can walk outside, look at the
same clouds and flowers, and just fill with such immense
sadness for life. not my own...just life in
general...sadness that people are so caught up in their own
lives that no one takes the time to appreciate anything
around them...almost as if it's owed to them. they take and
take...
i dont know if that make sense...i suppose it doesnt matter.