thoughts right now
Ad 0:
2002-04-07 23:02:11 (UTC)


As per usual, several sundry thoughts percolating around in
me brain, prompting me to finally get my ass (er , hands)
onto the computer and write something.

One thing I have been thinking about quite a bit lately is
this rather simple notion of the damages that unnecessary
exclusivity can cause.

Isn't it what we all want, to be treated gently and with
real understanding and focus and attention? Why then, do we
so rarely bestow these gifts upon others? Is our very
social relationship with others so inextricably tied to our
own egos that we can't see beyond them?

I daily wish for more clarity and calm. I think over past
events (usually something no one else might have even
noticed) and physically cringe because of some stupid thing
I've said or done. Sometimes I wish I would just shut the
hell up. Or, as I saw on a website recently, "When is Ocean
Spray going to come out with their new Cran/Shut Up blend?"

When I get most annoyed with others is when I feel that
they are only interested in telling (spouting ,
ponticating, venting, take your pick) about their own lives
and have little or no interest in mine. How many times a
day do you ask someone how they're doing? How many times do
you actually wait to hear the response and really listen?

Alternately, when someone does actually remember something
that's been going on in my life, and asks about it, I feel
so touched, so honoured by that simple act. It doesn't take
much to bring about that feeling.
I would like to bring that feeling to others as often as I
can. I feel that sometimes I don't because I get
overwhelmed by large groups of people, and being in a group
makes it difficult for me to focus on one person at a time.

I ask for wisdom and grace and the ability to listen. I ask
that my words be a reflection of my inner light, rather
than whatever jumps off the top of my head.

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