Christine

Visions Of Life
2002-04-07 12:10:10 (UTC)

Letting Go

I am so miserable right now. All that shit ive said about
love being wonderful is total bullshit. I seem to get more
pain then pleasure out of loving someone and I cant take
anymore. I wanted to spend a long long time with this
person but it wont happen because I need to end things. No
matter how much you love someone, if they have a habit that
you hate and it causes problems, hate overrides love and it
must end. This will be the hardest thing I will ever have
to do. I dont want to but I cannot continue living like
this. I dont want to continue living period but i am a
mother fucking chicken and dont have the balls to end
things. Maybe I have enough anger now to do it. Im ready to
punch a hole in the wall. Anger explodes into self harm so
if im angry enough at everything, I might be able to slip
into that faceless fog where I do stupid things. No turning
back. No remorse. No more pain. No more torment.