Life as I know it.
Ad 0:
2001-05-22 00:59:27 (UTC)

If I could be that in your eyes

So I talked to Matt last night, and now I know I have
something worth fighting for. He says he loves me, misses
me, and wants to be back with me...but he feels that it
wont work out. I kept asking him if i could try, then he
kept saying "i dont know", "im sorry" and "i think it wont
work out again". Does anyone think that maybe if i asked
him just to date again, not a relationship, he would
agree? I know things wont be the same, they might be
worse, they might be better...but dammit I love him, and he
is worth fighting for. Love, it can be the greatest thing
when you are so happy, but when one person is unhappy it is
the worst feeling in the world, and being hurt while you
are in love, sucks...I dont know what he is thinking, I
think he might be scared...scared to hurt me, or scared
that i might hurt him..but love makes you vulnerable...and
i know it, and he knows it, but in the end this hurts more
than anything...if he were a bad boyfriend it wouldnt hurt
so much--like if he cheated on me, beat me, played me, used
me, any of that i would just let him go...but he did
nothing...and i know it was some of my actions which i
should have explained to him when they happened, which
caused the end of us. I think we are worth fighting for, I
just wish he felt the same way. Maybe he does, I do not
know. I just know I love him...and that is what matters.