ultimateEMOgurl

So much for my happy ending...
2002-04-05 02:32:22 (UTC)

The past

Well i was just readin my past diary entrys. Man o man...i
realli cant believe all i went through for nothing. Well it
wasnt realli for nothing, i mean i was realli depressed. Im
realli glad...for my sake...i mean if i hadnt have found
jeff and had to contuine on without adam...i seriously
think i would have become suicidly. It realli makes me
think how blessed i am to have what i have now. But what is
realli a shock is that after i found out what realli
happened with adam, it makes it even more crazy what i used
to think. I mean to finally talk to him...even if it was
for a short time...after four freakin months...i still cant
believe that i finally got my answers, that i think i
realli needed to move on. Lately it has been a lot easier
to just sorta not think about adam. Even though i still do
sumtimes. I will never ever stop thinkin about him...he was
too big of a part of my life. But im so happy that i found
jeff to replace to void that i felt when adam left me.
There are also the entrys from when i first started to talk
to jeff. You can see the total change around from
depression to happiness...total happiness. I was so happy
that things got started with jeff. And to think where i am
now with him after all that...its realli mind blowin. I
look back on my past and think that it was a realli life
changin experience. I can now say that i am realli happy
with my life and everything in it. Things are going so good
with me right now...and i think that it is for real. IM
sooo happy!!!!!!! And its all thanks to 2 people...my
brotha cilla and my silly boy jeff! i love you both so
freakin much...u guys r my world...dont forget it! : )




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