I'm a girl, not a band!!!
2002-04-04 23:37:30 (UTC)

New Computer, too bad it's not mine

Welcome to Thursday. It's about to pour outside. The whole
world looks yellow. My sister recently introduced me to a
guy named John Mayer. Wow. This guy is 3 years older than
I am, and, well, you know my stance on poetry and that
includes song lyrics. But I have found the song that I
want to make love to. I know that sounds weird, but let me
explain. I have had sex. But I want to be loved, and so
close to someone who will cherish my heart when I give it
to them. And when I was listening to this song, it just is
so passionate about love. It's the perfect making love
song. "I love the shape you take, crawling towards the
pillow case". I mean, come on, how much better than that
can you get? Wow. It's called Your Body Is A Wonderland,
and it's by John Mayer, as I said above.

I have been home alone yesterday and most of today. My dad
is coming home tonight. I've been enjoying my time alone.
I am supposed to go see Stomp tonight at 8pm, but I don't
know...I don't have the energy to go. I miss Pete. I can't
talk about it really, but I just need to let go. It will
not happen. My life sucks. *sigh* What can you do?
Nothing. So just move on. Easier said than done. I had to
take him off my buddy list cause it was just....painful
knowing he was on and not talking to him. There's just
nothing to say I suppose. I can't discuss it anymore.

I'm making a mix CD out of MP3s and now that I look at it,
I have quite a variety of tastes. From John Mayer, to
George Michael, to Guns N Roses, to Dispatch. Yup. They
are all gonna be on it.

I don't know if I wrote this already, or not, but it's my
journal and I can repeat myself if I wanna. I baby sat for
Brandyn again on Tuesday. I had to give him a bath. It was
so nice. I remembered how fun water guns can be. And then
I got him in his pajamas and brushed his hair and he
smelled like Johnson's Baby Shampoo, and we read the Pokey
Little Puppy and he fell asleep in my arms. I just sat
like that, holding him in my arms. It was so nice, I just
cried for a bit cause I was so happy. Wow. I want
that...the relationship with someone where they are
comfortable to fall asleep listening to my voice. Brandyn
already has filled the spot for 4 year olds, so other 4
year olds need not apply. Just to be that comfortable with

I am willing to listen to all advice if anyone wants to
give any.