teckoamoka

MY NIGHTMARE WEEK

THIS WEEK HAS TO BE ONE OF THE WORSE EVER IM A
SCIZOPHRENIC AND I HAVE BEEN IN AND OUT OF HOSPITALS FOR
10 YEARS OF MY 21 YEAR LIFE .AT THE START OF THE WEEK I
STARTED TO HEAR VOICES AGAIN THEY WERE TELLING ME TO DO
THE MOST TERRIBLE THINGS EVER SHOUTING AND SCREAMING IN MY
HEAD SAYING HITLER WAS COMEING TO GET ME AND THAT THE
SECRET POLICE WERE AFTER ME ITS BEEN A NIGHTMARE WEEK I
WAS SO SCARED AND ANXIOUS I REALLY FELT LIKE I WANTED TO
DIE TO ESCAPE THIS MADNESS I WAS TERRIFIED OF THE VOICES
AND THE VISIONS I SAW IN MY BEDROOM THE VOICES WERE SAYING
SUCH TERRIBLE THINGS SO I HAD TO GO TO SEE THE DOCTER IM
ON ALLREADY 400MGS OF CLOZARIL A ANTIPSYCOTIC DRUG THE
DOCTER WROTE EVERYTHING DOWN THEN SAY HE WAS HIGHERING
THEM FURTHER TO 750MGS IM GOING TO BE LIKE A HUMAN ZOMBIE
THE DRUGS MAKE ME SO HIGHED AND OUT OF MY HEAD THE DOCTER
IS MAKEING ME GO BACK TO HOSPITAL TOMMORROW AGAIN FOR THE
21 TIME I HATE THE PLACE SO MUCH AND THE PLACE SCARES ME
BUT I HAVE NO CHOICE ITS TERRIBLE IF I DONT GO THEY WILL
SECTION ME UNDER THE MENTAL HEALTH ACT THEN KEEP ME FOR 12
MONTHS I TOLD THE DOCTER EVERYTHING HITLER WAS IN MY MIND
AND HE WAS SAYING THAT HE WAS MARCHING ON MY CITY TO COME
GET ME AND I COULD HEAR SOLDIERS MARCHING INTO THE CITY TO
GET ME I WAS SHAKEING LIKE A LEAF ALL OVER MY KNEES WERE
SHAKEING TO I WAS SO SCARED I WAS GONNA HIDE ON THE ROOF
OF THE HOUSE WHEN WILL MY ILLNESS END IM SICK AND TIRED OF
LIVEING THIS LIFE BUT I HAVE TO I HAVE NO CHOICE BECAUSE I
DONT WANNA DIE LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL WHEN IM BETTER IM A
ARTIST A ABSTRACT ARTIST I WAS IN MY COUNTRYS NASTIONAL
NEWSPAPERS THEY CALLED ME ONE OF EUROPES GREATEST YOUNG
TALENTS AND COMPARED ME TO POLLOCK BASQUIAT AND PICASSO SO
WITH MY ART I HAVE A LOT TO LIVE FOR I ALWAYS SAY LIFE
GETS BETTER IT GETS BETTER EVERYDAY !!!WELL GOD WILLING I
HOPE IT DOES BECAUSE IM SICK AND TIRED OF HEARING THESE
VOICES SCREAM IN MY HEAD OVER AND OVER AGAIN I WILL HAVE
TO PUT UP WITH THE HOSPITAL UNTILL I GET BETTER I HOPE IT
WILL BE VERY SOON!IM SO NERVOUS MY LEGS ARE HURTING WITH
THE PAIN OF SHAKEING THEM SO MUCH AND THE DRUGS ARE
MAKEING ME SO TIRED I CAN HARDLEY DO ANYTHING BUT LAY ON
MY BED OR SLEEP WELL THIS IS MY LAST NIGHT OF FREEDOM .THE
NEXT TIME I WRITE I HOPE I AM GONNA BE BETTER !