Don Juan

Fucked-up-ville
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2002-04-04 02:53:07 (UTC)

right story, wrong person

as easter has come and gone... I can't help but to think of
christ and his huge gift of salvation. i grew up thinking
the bible was the truth... I knew he was my one true
salvation. I just don't know anymore. Yes, the bible
makes sense... the end is comming... the signs are
everywhere... yet I can't bring myself to find my faith
again. I've read cover to cover several times and I just
can't find anything that hits me in that soft spot in my
heart. The only real things that hit me are the facts that
we are refered to as sheep more times than I can count,
that god plays favorites, and he bets (and many more I
don't care to mention). Don't shepards make money off of
sheep? So is god actually making a percentage on how many
people don't run away from him? Or does he need us. Does
he need our praise to still be god? The Israelites did no
great deed for god to pick them out of the herd. Infact...
they deny him, make fun of him, forget about his
commandments... yet he still likes them the most. I really
don't understand that. then with job, he makes a bet (a
sin, and isn't god suppose to be perfect???) with the devil
that job can withstand the wrath of the lucifer. What kind
of god would put a very loyal servent through the wrath of
the devil just to win a bet? I really don't understand
that. and what's up with all the different beliefs? If
the bible is the word of god, why is it interpreted so
differently by so many different people? I wish I could
find my faith again. But if the old saying: "god helps
those who help themselves" is true... do we really need a
god if we're doing fine by ourselves? Okay, that's
enough... maybe I'll die tomorrow and find out that I'm
completely wrong... ooooooooooohhhhh man, that'd be hot.
Talk later.


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