Ode to a psycho!HA!
2002-04-04 00:43:43 (UTC)

I hurt. I'm numb. I ache

abs ran into this chick today who called her a "devil bitch"
and then continued to say that if she saw her on the street
she would turn and walk the other way, and that she and her
bitchass friends are all going to hell" . JCREW here I come.
I am so numb right now it physically hurts my entire body. I
ache and I can't even explain it. It makes me want to go back
to the way things were. when I stuck pins through my skin
just to see the blood, or burned or cut myself. but I have a
friend who cuts herself, and I don't want to go back to the
old days, and I don't know if she knows I used to cut myself
and i don't know. I need to tell NIck, he deserves to know. I
can't stop thinking about him, and when I'm not I'm thinking
about him. Or remembering people who should have
faded out of my memory years ago.I need to be kissed. I need
to feel someoe touching my hair, or the small of my back. I
need to have sex, and not even necessarily that, I just need
something. I feel limp. I need someone to pick up my head and
tell mr I'm going to be alright. I NEED SOMEONE TO TELL ME
THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH ME!!! I need to cut my hair off
and dye it platinum blonde. i need to pierce my eyebrow. I
need to move somewhere far away, I need to get away from
theatre and movies and school. I need to be drunk..........
hmm........I drank 2 schmirnoff Ice's last night just for the
hell of it. just because I could. because I could. you know?
If I had killed myself when I had the opportunity in 8th
grade I'd be alot better off.