F**KED up life
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2001-05-21 05:59:28 (UTC)

and now it the person i love . . .

rigth after i got done typing that last entire, staci got
back on and i was talking to her. and then, she says she
has to go. witch pissed me off, i forgot why now. but
because i was pissed i went and ran. i ran around the park
three times. and its two times around is a mile. and i sat
up there bitchin at my self for about 10 mins. i was up
ther for 20 min, and i come back to check my email to see
if she wrote me anyting. and she ddnt. but i find her back
online. after she said she had to go. so its pissen me off.
and im all tired out and can barley type. and im going to
go back out and run in a little bit, once my stomach gose
away. and that one persont aht pissed me off a while ago is
back that pissin me off some more. by bein a smart ass. and
im just not in the mood for it. . . . . .she talking to me
as if im her damn monkey put on this earth to entertain
her. hey people. answer this for me. if you go running and
your stomach hurts cause of it, is it good to come home and
eat something like an apple and then go back out and run?
tell me. cause if its not oh well. im doing it any ways.
just wanted to know...

some times i truly dough if staci likes me. and if she ever
did cheat on me i would never know cause she would never
tell me. cause she cheated on mike with me and some other
dude and she never told him, even after they broke up. and
omg life sucks. i just want to go run to death. . . i want
so much in life. and i cant get any of it.well its 10 20. i
dont think i am going to go back out running. wow. she
finnaly got the point taht i didnt want tot alk to her.
never mind. ugh. fucking people just cant fucking learn
when enough is enough.....ok, i dont know how but she got
me talking to her. damn i hate that. you really diss like
the person and they turn around and try to help and you
just just tell them to fuck off. so you got to talk to them
and they acctualy turn out ok to talk to right now. and she
like tell im to smile and i said i cant. and she all im
sure there is SOMETING i can do ";-)" . and im just like
no. nothing. trust me. and i dont know why im even telling
her anything that i am. i just told her that "C61S:
fucking killing my self and never having to deal with all
this small shit taht keeps pissin me off and not having to
worry about wethere staci is cheatin or not. and people
coming up to and saying the wrong thing at the wrong time
C61S: ok maybe tahts more then one but you get the
idea " she hasnt said anything yet. kinda wondering what
the hell she is oging to say...

i dont know why but im going to write about liz now and
forget that im talking to tri..that ome one. liz. and old
friend of mine. and an ex. i was going out with her and
staci at the same time once. for a week. and i finally
dumped her. and kept going out with staci. but that didnt
stop her from being all over me. and other "fun" stuff. we
really never went further then first base though. but that
went on for like 2 or 3 weeks. ever time i saw her. and one
day she started going out with russell so the fun stoped.
and me and her still talked. well for a little bit. all the
sudden she said taht i was talking shit and that i was
obsesed over her and russell. and i was so not. and me and
her stoped talking. well lately i have been thinking about
her. cause i did like her. altough i have to admit that she
not the pretties person alive. and i have been missin
talking to her on the phone. and thinking about callin her.
but i know she will not forget what i did actually say to
her. after she told me that i said stuff and i really
didnt. but i did after that cuase she pissed me. and 3
libras was liek her fave song. and ever time i hear it it
makes me think about her. and i have the cd so i hear it
like every day. god just another reason why life sucks.

... and now back to the convo. well i exited out of the im
thing. but she said taht staci would never cheat on me and
bla. and i told her that her just telling me that wouldnt
change anything. and then she said she had to go. that was
like 5 mins ago and she is still on. only not talking to
me. not bad but what the hell. she has to lie to me to stop
talking to me. if she really just wanted to stop talking to
me all she had to do was say so...and hold on im going to
tell her that...ok, and she hasnt said anything yet. lol.
man do i feel gay talking like that. i dont care. there is
prolly no one reading this far. im just typing to take up
time. and damn. i have been typing for 30 mins now. and i
dont think she relizes that she is online. cause she still
hasnt imed me back. ok well im going to go now. i need my
sleep, and yay i have money to pay off all the people i
have muched off last week,well ta ta for now...

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