Mrs_Goodbar28

Lyrics of a Soul
2002-04-03 01:27:46 (UTC)

I've lost myself, there's nothing left...it's all gone, deep inside..of..you

My dad just brought me down like a thousand nots! Ok, so
he says he wants me to grow up fast, I'm like damn, whut
the hell do you want me to do, go out, get married, buy a
house and have some kids!! Shit, I mean, he acts like
it's death to me if I don't get a job this summer! As if
I have absolutely no goals for myself. Regardless of
whether I get a job or not, I will be doing something will
myself, I'll be damned to hell before I stay in that house
another summer. I mean, last summer was a different story
because I was depressed, but this year, I'm a lot more
confident, my friends (most of them) will be around, I
will be out and about no matter whut I do. Every damn
day!!! I just wish he would stop trying to rush me, I
can't be rushed. I'm not like my brother, who wasn't
exactly the first born, but matured like he was, but I
cannot be expected to live up to the "Golden Child" he
is. I mean, even when he's made worse mistakes than me,
they still give him praise!!! I love my brother to death,
but I am in no way up to his stature, and that I don't
deny, I'm just realizing the truth for what it is, I'm
behind most people my age in terms of maturity, but I know
what I have to do right now, and I'm doing that or at
least trying my best! Shit, what does he want from me?!
A Golden Globe?!

Well, my day over all has been quite shitty...whenever I
spend most of the day talking to myself, then it's been
quite shitty! I gotta go do something with myself to
bring my spirits (and esteem, thanx Dad) back up! Later!




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