kiss me, kill me, hold me, thrill me
Not much has happened since I wrote last. Dave is out
of town on bussiness again. I was a little worried on
Sunday because I didn't know he was leaving and he
was not online.
We had a good time chatting on Saturday. He was a
little surprised that I do enjoy chatting with him. The
main thing I mentioned is that it's a real conversation. I
mean I could be talking to stupid strangers on the net,
but they could be feeding me a line of shit or
Talking to Dave I kinda know what to talk about. Also I
kinda know him. I don't know him really well though. I
think in our conversations I reveal more about myself
than he does about himself, but it's all good.
I even say some strange stuff to him that I don't always
say to John. I mean like I was looking up mp3s the
other day and the only qualification was that they have
sex in the title. Dave kinda laughed at me and took it in
stride. I do things like that though, wacky things.
Also because we sort of know eachother we aren't
judging each other. When I talk to strangers I start
sterotyping them in my head. I know it's not the best
thing to do, but hey, it happens.
I just wish that I could talk as freely with Dave in person
or on the phone as I do online. I have talked to him on
the phone like twice. Once to so he could get someone
else off the line and the other time I called to see what
he was up to because John asked me to call for him.
The second time we did talk a bit, but not much. Oh, I
forgot about another time when I answered John's
phone in the car and I mentioned something about
playing with a monkey. It was this cute stuffed monkey
that I got John for Valentines Day. It has a red heart on
it and velcro hands. I was hooking him to the "Oh shit"
handle in John's car.
That time I think Dave and I had a semi normal
conversation and I didn't totally clam up. I clam up
when I talk to anyone I don't know, especially guys. It's
just what I do. I mean I don't quite feel like I know Dave
physically (like as in the real person standing in front of
me or whatever) very well. Online I can tell him almost
anything. I know he's not going to judge me or tell me
not to do something unless it's like majorly serious.
Sometimes he worries about me though. He asked
me the other day if John and I ever got to spend any
time just the two of us. I had to reassure him that as
soon as everyone is gone we have out time just us.
If I told him no he was going to kick John's ass. It's
funny to me how Dave is younger than John and has so
much more experience with girls and stuff. The funny
part is that Dave kinda looks out for me and asks if
things are going well.
Maybe he's trying to have me keep him in mind if things
go sour with John. He doesn't have to worry about that
though. Things are just fine with John and if they did
end for some reason I would at least want to keep Dave
around as a friend.
I don't think I could ever date him even if I we were both
single. I mean I have enough trouble talking to him in
person as it is. Like I said before, I clam up and don't
know what to say.
Part of it could be that he's so darn good looking. Ok,
hot is more the word for it. If he were ugly I think it
would be easier to talk to him.
I know I wrote about the dream I had that Dave and I
were cheating on John. Thank God that has not come
up again. If things go well I won't ever tell either of the
guys. There is no reason to have either of them freak
That is the only time I've ever seriously thought about
that. I did kinda before John and I were offical think
about how hot Dave was and gosh, it would be kinda
cool to date him. I was pretty unsure though because
that was when he was still cruzing the bar and club
scene and bringing home chicks or going to their place
Dave did say it was nice to have a sober conversation
with me. It's not like going to a bar and then bringing
home some drunk chick just so they could drink some
more and talk about stupid shit. We have real
conversations about real things. None of them are just
so amazingly super or earth moving, but it's all good.
Recently I've been saying "it's all good" quite a bit. I
know it's a phrase that my best friend Mina uses
frequently and I have not heard from her in a while. I
really miss her a lot.
I wish I could go back and relive high school with her
and the gang. Then again I'm so happy with life right
now I guess I'll save that dream for a day when things
are all messed up.
I have a stupid quiz today. Half of it is all dumb stuff
about operating a mac. The other stuff is just stuff I
have to try and remember.
Two of my classes use photoshop so I've had to go
over the this is how you operate photoshop thing twice.
To top it off I have photoshop at home and have been
using it for a while now. Oh well, it makes life easier.
Now if I could just remember to do the required