My Teenage Life
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2002-04-02 19:02:14 (UTC)


omg i haven't wrote on this thing since like last may!!!!
wow. i read all my entries before out of interest. my life
was so mad back then! it still is!!! but it's different!!
Anyone who may be possibly reading this will not have read
my previous entries from last year like but I'll just talk
like ppl have.
As for me and annraoi...we are no more. in any way at all.
we don't speak to each other no more. it was a gr8 shame
really. we split up in the end...and went back to being
best friends again. it WAS gr8 tho cos i cud tell him
ANYTHING in the whole world..all my embarrassin probs n
that and he could tell me stuff too and i was all set to go
over in october. to dublin for the weekend with me mum and
her bf that is. however, about a week b4 he started going
weird on me. he was sayin he would only be able to meet me
for a bit on one of the days of the weekend - where we
originally planned to spend the whole weekend together. and
then the day b4 wen i tried to fone him he wudnt answer or
anything so i went over, and then he said he cudnt meet me
at all!! then on the fri night i was textin him and he said
he'd meet me by hmv the next day....but the next day he
texted me sayin he cudnt cos he was goin to a party that
night. how lame! so i went home. spoke to him on the fone
and he was "gonna explain" blah blah blah but then, his
battery ran out!! how convenient. and i aint spoke 2 him
since. he musta blocked me on the net and that. i dont get
why like. i'll always wonder why til the day i died cos i
did nothing wrong. but nevermind, it's all in the past now.

Then there's my other mates...im still gr8 mates with neil,
natalie aka luka, paul etc.
im not really mates with that stuart who was in first year
any more tho...we still say hi to each other n all but it's
not the same - at all.

joanne, the girl who got engaged to her boyfriend stuart at
16, is now pregnant - i saw her scan pics the other day and
im made up for her.

I'd now like to take a minute to express my sadness at 3
people who have died this yr. 1 who i knew personally and 2
famous ppl who meant a lot to me.
My grandad
Jon Lee of Feeder
and George Harrison

i lost my grandad on the 28th of february. it destroyed me.
i hadta take a few days off work cos on the day i did go in
after it, i ended up crying when my mate's mum who works
there asked me about it. after the funeral tho, i started
to feel better and havent actually cried about it since
that day. I fill up wen i talk about it but i dont really
talk about it no more. I still remember little things tho.
like if i do a puzzle in my puzzle book i always remember
him going when i was younger "you don't do crosswords in
lower case letters!! you do them in capitals!!" because we
always used to do puzzles together. :) i did my crosswords
in capitals ever since as i was afraid i'd get another
telling off!! I will always miss him but I take peace in
the fact that he died peacefully with his family around

Then there's Jon Lee....jon lee....wow it's been nearly 3
months. I was GUTTED. I was sitting there on the internet
when my mate foned....she was like "have u heard about jon
lee?" no, i hadnt, but i KNEW as soon as she said it. "omg,
he's not dead is he?" i said. "yes...." i was so
upset "...he committed suicide" i started crying. i was
gutted. i cudnt believe it. i wudnt accept it. i was
looking it up on the net whilst crying down the fone and
altho i had it in front of me i was just like "no way"..
jon lee was an amazing guy and a fantastic drummer. he was
one of the best drummers great britain has had in the last
few years. He was truly amazing and he will always live on
in feeder fan's hearts and feeder will not be the same
without him.

and well george's death didnt quite have the same effect as
jon's...even tho im a huge fan of the beatles. But it was
extremely sad none the less. another gr8 loss to the world
of music.

Anyway im going to stop chatting on about death

i have to go anyway i might come back and edit it later
love nikki

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