Silver web spun of a twisted imagination
2002-04-02 00:10:34 (UTC)

I can't worry about myself.

I guess no one else does keep up with this thing. This may
sound strange, but I thing I've lost the ability to really
worry about myself. I have no fear for my own safety. I
can picture myself getting into a violent and blood y
accident, maimed, tortured, killed, or exposed to a
horribly debilitating disease, and feel...nothing. Nothing
at all. Not a thing. Now, any of those thoughts about
someone else, Tim or a family member for example, and I
close my eyes and feel a cold shiver. Strange. I wonder
what it means when your ability to worry about yourself
becomes deadened. Maybe, since for awhile I've kindof
shunted my own needs, pains, etc. to the side to worry
about other people, I've lost the feeling completely. I
don't know.