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...poem I found...
THE MASK I WEAR...
Don't be fooled by me
Don't be fooled by the mask I wear.
For I wear a mask,
I wear a thousand masks.
Masks that I'm afraid to take off,
and none of them are me.
Pretending is an art that's second nature with me, but
don't be fooled.
I give you the impression that I'm secure,
that all is sunny and unruffled with me,
within as well as without,
that confidence is my name and coolness my game,
and that I need no one.
But don't believe me....Please.
My surface may seem smooth,
but my surface is a mask,
my ever-varying and ever-concealing mask.
Beneath lies no smugness, no complacency.
Beneath dwells the real me in confusion,
in fear, in aloneness.
But I hide this.
I don't want anyone to know it.
I panic at the thought of
my weakness and fear being exposed.
That's why I frantically create a mask to hide behind,
a nonchalant, sophisticated facade,
to help me pretend, to shield me
from the glance that knows.
But such a glance is precisely
my salvation. And I know it.
That is if it's followed by acceptance.
It's the only thing that can save me, from myself from my
own self-built prison walls,
from the barriers that
I so painstakingly erect.
It's the only thing that will assure myself,
that I'm really worth something.
But I don't tell you this,
I'm afraid your glance will not
be followed by acceptance and love.
I'm afraid you'll think less of me,
that you'll laugh,
and your laugh would wound me.
I'm afraid that deep-down
I'm not much and you will see this
and reject me.
So I play my game, pretending game,
with a facade of securance without.
So when I'm going through my routine
don't be fooled by what I'm saying.
Please listen carefully and try
to hear what I'm not saying....
what I'd like to be able to say,
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