gabby

cosmic ski slopes
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2001-05-19 22:22:23 (UTC)

INFURIATING!!!

OMG! She is SO INFURIATING! IT'S BEYOND WORDS. Yet still I
come here and try to put it into words... I dunno, maybe I
am nuts, maybe I do need to be put on drugs.

I just got off the phone with, U guessed it, my mother.
Her. I can't even speak to Her without wanting to throw
something and cry and take a knife to my own damn throat. I
dunno... She called to ask me what I've eaten today. WHAT
DOES IT MATTER WHAT THE HELL I'VE HAD TO EAT???? She
wanted
to tell me she's on the way home and decided she'd get on
my case about how I don't eat a lot. I want to just tell
her to go to hell. Maybe I will someday. Blame it on the
medicine. Or lack of it. One day I'lll just 'forget' to
take it and that night have one of my worst attacks, I'll
make sure she's there for it too. She's never been there
for one, never sat through one with me. Sara has. My best
friend has talked me through all of this shit and my mom
decides that it means nothing. Maybe Mom just doesn't care
that I'm still alive- that Sara's kept me from dying.
That's most likely the answer... Mom just doesn't give a
shit.

Well neither do I.


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