mental illness, yes it is real..

isn't life grand ??
2002-03-30 22:47:14 (UTC)

I wish I knew what to do .....

Lisa, I do love you with all my heart, I would do anything
for you, but I cant just call in sick anytime and expect it
to go unnoticed. Yes, I have unlimited sick time, but if it
gets abused they will make me have a drs note for every
time that I call out. I am not interested in joining the
select few that already have to provide those notes.
As far as getting you something for Easter, you are always
the one to say it isnt material things that you need, but
it always seems that you DO need material things at every
opportunity. I want to know how are we supposed to pay the
rent on Monday with only $300.00 in bank ??
I am upset that things are like this as well, depression
and my meds have zapped my sex drive , and if you recall,
last time I approached you , you pushed me away saying that
you didnt want me to feel that making love to you was a
chore that I had to do.
Lisa, what we need is couples counseling as well as
individual, so we can learn to understand each other
Lisa, I love what you do for Jon & Jess, but if we dont
have the money , we cant fake it and say to hell with
bills... right now we are flat broke & busted... i dont
know what to do.... I worry bout money, and to you it is no
big deal.... I am not used to having bill collectors
chasing me , and I dont want to have to get used to it.
Lisa, I truly love you , I will marry you tommorow if that
is what you want. I am shaking right now , cause I dont
know what else to do for you. I love my children, and I
love you and your children and all i feel is walls closing
in on me. I feel pressure from Robin for not spending
enought time with kids, I feel resentment from you every
time I go to see kids, I feel pressure from kids cause I
know that they want more time with me, I feel pressure from
Fire Dept. when I am working with a certain person, who
think I am worst dispatcher here, I feel pressure cause of
outstanding bills, plain & simple - I AM NOT SUPERMAN !!!!
I am ready to go back to hospital , just because I cant
deal with it .... I cant take it any more.
I am being pulled it too many directions.....
You are very beautiful woman to me, I love you dearly Lisa,
I dont want to lose you. I am just under lots of pressure,
I feel like an octopus with all 8 legs being pulled in
different directions...