camicazy

Thy Mysterious Me

lolz..i've received the best feedback ever from this person
called Thy Mysterious Me. i can't stop smiling from the
irony of everything:

'gee, i think you suffer from a sense of insecurity. what's
all this about you being an ugly piece of shit; beauty is
in the eyes of the beholder. you just have to go and find
that lousy beholder that has been hiding from you all his
life. you might be a bimbo, but bloody you are not ... heh
heh you would look funny with a beer belly though. long
distance relationships don't work for teenagers i reckon -
the intensity and sensitivity isn't there. don't cut
yourself on those splinters of glass, ok? i thought soil-
stained eyes was pretty good - provided you're not wearing
contacts of course. masquerade, hmmmm, that was a nice
movie wasn't it? you can't win 'em all. hahahahah. actually
if you explode, you would become a bloody bimbo ...
an "immature and happy-go-lucky" bimbo i guess. argh, you
black hearted alcoholic. who am i?'

yes yes thy mysterious me...who are you?

would love to hear from you again actually...you've piqued
my interest you fruitcake ...

****

him: always good to keep thinking.

me: yeah..but then sometimes too much thinking weighs you
down.

him: i doubt that you overthink.

me: ouch. but i do overthink...a lot. just don't really like
talking abt it with people who i'm not that comfy with.
lolz. i know i come across as a dumbass.

him: yes how correct. lol. jk.

me: i find it easier to act as a dumbass than to be..er..who
i really am? i don't know.. you get along with people
more...and everything's a little less complicated...

him: okay. it's a joke.

me: okay i shall stop now. lolz.

****

hmmm i think he was quite pissed with me. i wonder if the
other people who i really talk to think that i don't
overthink. nahh...they're always telling me to stop
thinking. well actually..i think that's the reason why they
left me.

yes i was a bit hurt when he said that but it doesn't
really matter. i should let people believe what they want
to believe. why should i live to please?

****

to thy mysterious me:

1. yes i am suffering from a sense of insecurity. how do
you know?

2. a bimbo or not a bimbo...

3. the beer belly is on the way.

4. i won't cut myself on the splinters of glass. i'll just
step on them.

5. it's not possible for me to have soil-stained eyes
anymore. i wear contacts goshdarn it.

6. haven't seen masquerade yet.

7. so am i a bimbo or what?

8. a blackhearted alcoholic... so i am...

9. who are you?

****

mixture of feelings right now. feel a bit amused and
happy...and yet i feel irritated and hurt too. ahh...the
irony. today's a dark autumn day... such lovely weather to
sleep in.

****

'I pass through the Valley of Death unafraid, for I am the
meanest bastard in the valley.'

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