a little piece of me
was pretty upset for a while last night. cried for a bit.
finally got to talk to turtle. he made me feel a lot
better. i really love that guy. when he tells me he loves
me, i believe him without a doubt. that's another new
experience for me. he kept me laughing for a long time.
he just knows how to cheer me up.
today i'm going to start making a ring for him. i'm going
to make a thick sterling band ring with a turtle cut out of
the center. simple, but it's the thought that counts,
right? it should only take me an hour or so. i've already
made 4 band rings, so i'm getting this thing down pretty
well. it's a lot of fun. i'm also going to make him a
shirt that says '[jane_doe's] bitch' hehe (using my real
name of course). that's our new little joke. he's so
funny. then i'm supposed to make myself a shirt with my
name on it so everyone knows who's bitch he is. what a
smart ass lol. i love him.
today i've got a lot of little things i need to get done.
just have that apprehensive feeling about going out into
the world. i guess i expected the meds to work all the
time, but obviously they don't. as lester pointed out,
it's not as severe as before, so i guess i should be
thankful for that. i need to allow myself to get upset or
sad or angry and not feel guilty about it. come to think
of it, i've been pretty much on the same level emotionally
for some time now. not getting extremely excited about
something, the way i used to. or crying at sad parts in
movies. or getting furious. i have to stop taking those
meds soon. i don't like this at all. maybe i'll try
hanging on until they reduce them, see what happens then.
this is weird, but i'm suddenly completely disgusted with
myself for caving in and taking them. i guess the hospital
threat worked. that will stop very soon.
anyway, i have work to do, so i'm outa here.