Quiet

Just me
2002-03-28 22:35:50 (UTC)

Another night of hell

Again my f mom goes to the hospital. this time they left me
home alone. i hate being alone i was scared all night i
didn't sleep and i feel horrible. I cut and things just not
going good. Finally my f parents got home around 4 and
stuff but my f mom has to stay in bed and she is being all
sensitive and stuff and she keeps wating to give me a hug.
i hate hugs i just don't know what to do and i wanna scream
and cry but i can't so i am just here not doing anything
can't concentrate on nothing. i was stupposed to do home
work and i didn't it is so hard so i quit i think it will
be ok i never did my home work at the last center so i
guess it don't matter. I feel just plain icky i tried
eating and stuff but i can't it makes me feel sick. things
just go blah so i dunno so i wrote here.

Feeling it all drain away
gaining all my energy but seeing it slip away
never knowing what is right
fighting to be heard
fighting to feel
i work so hard but it drains away
i just want to hold on
be normal feel things
how do i go about getting my feelings back
being emotional knowing love
i can never find out i am scared
so i just sit around doing nothing




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