gothguy

deepthoughts
2002-03-28 05:43:27 (UTC)

i need sleep

hey peeps
it's like 12:30am and i was in bed but i just can't sleep.
i took the sleeping pills from my docter and i still
haven't even yawned yet. Man i was even up early today like
8 am i never get up that early. anyways everything seems to
be going ok with me im on new anti-deppressants and they
daon't seem to be working any different then the paxil but
i guess i have to wait and see. I hope that this weekend
will go good for me because im going away up north to see
my aunt and am staying at a hotel to get away from it all
so hope that i meet some hot guy and have an awesome
time.....wait that seems to be where my problems start
meeting guys it never seems to work because i always find
someway to put on this desirable fake front and seem to
forget about it and they find out im not that person. Oh
well i could care less i have fun being fake sometimes it's
like i get to be someone totally new i get to make up thier
reactions to things and what they blurt out at the wrong
times. Yeah that's right im a lamo big time but i don't
mind i've always been this way it makes things easier to
deal with if i blow them out of unimaginable proportions to
which i could never deal with in the first place. Well on
the plus side i get my car back this weekend so i should be
able to go see my bestest friend Michelle who i miss dearly
and without her i would probaley have jumped already. She
makes things seem so much better then they are and she
always teaches me the way to look at bad shit differently
so it seems less shitty and easier to deal withhmmmm i miss
her sooo...
Well i think that im gonna try this whole sleep thing over
again and hope it works this time so good night to all and
talk to you tommorow hopefully




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