sureshot618

Record of Thoughts
2002-03-28 02:47:59 (UTC)

Exhale

Well, this is my first entry in this journal, but my
millionth in a long-lived line of journals which I have
created and then closed the book to for no apparent reason
other than lack of committment. Today at school we had an
assembly on colleges, financial aid, and the SATs, and
although I was only there for the last 15-20 minutes, it
really brought the realization that it's all just around
the corner right to me. The thing that really hit me was
when one of the speakers started out by saying, "Hello
class of 2003!" I couldn't help but feel my heart leap and
a smile spread across my face. Have I really made it? Have
I really come this far? Yes, I have. I'm in the years that
I used to talk about when I was little. Yes, that's right.
I used to talk about high school and college and wonder
what it was going to be like. So maybe I haven't had the
love life that I used to think I would. In fact, maybe I've
been hit quite a few times with disappointment, hurt, and
heartache. But you know what? I wouldn't trade any of it.
It's been an experience that I know will last my whole
life. I've learned lessons that I wouldn't give up for
anything in the world. Yes, I did have my first love, but
it was not returned to me. I did get my first kiss, but
there were no fireworks. Prom will come and go, and it will
not have any affect on me seeing as how I do not have a
date like the fairytales had promised me. I gave up waiting
on my fairy godmother long ago after she failed to reply to
any of my letters. I got my first actual job, and it was
not as a bagger at publix or as a pizza delivery person
like I had wanted it to be. I am not the most popular girl
in the school or even the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, or 6th, etc.
However, I am one of the most individual girls, which
sometimes makes it difficult to carry on conversations, but
I am happy with who I have become and who I know I am going
to be. Nothing can replace that.
Song for the Day: "On My Own" - Don't Look Down


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