Ronnie

March 27th,

Well here i am again thing never seem to go the way
anybody ever plans it.. Well these last couple of weeks
been very strange.. No Pothead nomore Son "
Halaylooyah ".... No more feeling sorry or mad for both of
those losers.... I knew son wouldnt lst for ever he is a
scrub, a drug head, and defanetaly a crack head.....Pot
head finally got the idea that he was a worthless
southerner from L.B.I....Wow l.b.i how special is that
place.. Chrstine and I are doing well besides the fact that
her and i get jelouse over one another..Well mabe that is
because we are so close of friends we are afraid of losing
any prescios time we have lefft to spend with eachother...
Well we just both have to get used to the people we know
chill with...We never have anyplans to do anything because
now that there is so many of us all of our plans r
different and everone wants to do somthing different.. I
feel bad for Vanessa though because we always get stuck or
end up driving around the same towns in her car.. Her
little feet must get so tired...But that is what happens
when you have a whip and nothing to do....It's still
winter i believe because im still to lazy to go out in
that chillie weather...Lukasz still popps out of my mouth
every couple of mins in the day , Chrisitne always tries to
help me to forget about him but its just not that easy..I
cant talk about anything i want to anymore because i know
have friends that dont knoe about my Bi-ness...I am so
afraid to let those secrets out again after what lukasz had
done to me....I cant help that i talk about him but he was
just someone very special in my life who os gone and will
probally never return...I wish i had more people to talk
about this about but i could only mention these things to
christine....Even though she blows up my spot all the
time...But i guess the rest of them are dumn because they
havent caught on yet.....I dont like having the feeling of
my friends both flirtin with eachother but there is
nothing i could do about it and as long as chrisitne is
happy i dont care how mad i get....It just happens a little
too much and i kind of feel lonely...But just like she used
to feel know i feel....Well i just wanted to smoke a blunt
with chrisitne today by our selves but Ruben winds up
comming so early that i dont have the chance to tell
christine anything because there always around and i dont
want any of then to kno......This is why i like to wait for
certain times to smoke because then there isnt people
around so then i could tell chrisitne the things i want to
say...."but not infront of any of them" ! Mabe one day i
will tell Vanessa the truth aboutme and my self but not
right now..Mabe vanessa will understand me more ...Because
the way i feel is that she dont care anymore and thats
it....so i will get back to you mr. journal.... Mabe next
time i will hhave someone to talk to besides you or
chrisitne,.......bye byes...