listen to my silences
2002-03-27 05:45:54 (UTC)

figuring it out

i think i've figured it out
well, i say i but i had help
thanks baby

anyways, so the reason this is happening to me is because
if it wasn't then it would be happening to someone
else...right? and god must have known that i am strong
enough, through him, to make it through this. and so that
someone else would not have been. so maybe this was a wake
up call. to make sure that i know that he's in control of
my life not me. and maybe someone else would have turned
their back on him. i don't really know. i mean, i have
started accepting everything. i just, i don't want to go
back to another doctor. but i'll be ok. i'll make it.
i'm scared, but it can't be much worse than it already is.
and i've got support. and love. and friendship. so
that's really all i need. those are things that doctors
can't take away. they can take away my freedom and
independence. and my patience and hope. but not those
things. they're untouchable. and because of that my hope
will be restored. so thanks to all who care.

brodie-my best friend who always sets me straight. oh so
many memories and so much understanding. my protector,
thanks for everything.

kel-my sister who always is there. all the inside jokes
and late nite talks and sneaking out of windows. thanks
for it all.

g-a true friend despite everything. you can't lie to me
and i can't to you. even if you let me you know
something's up. thanks for paying attention.

jamie-my soulmate sis. i can't believe we're about to
graduate. these past two years would have been so much
longer without all the laughter you've provided. thanks
for letting me be myself.

mary-my patient who always listens. notes in cal and
crappy ceramics projects. thanks for being a sounding
board and not a resounding board.

dre-a very understanding friend who always cares no matter
what. bowling, bloody noses, late nites. thanks for
listening and being there.

kari-my ceramics buddy. writing in clay is the best way to
communicate. guess we'll have to buy some for the summer
huh? thanks for all the talks and coming in to see me at

jonathon-my love. what can i say. you've given me the
world. support love patience understanding and so much
more. where would i be without you? thank you. i love
you...forever and always.

and to anyone and everyone else: thanks.

final thought: seasons may change winter to spring but i
love you until the end of time