Loo's Daily Affirmations
2002-03-26 14:07:10 (UTC)

And then all hell broke loose......

Well, I cheated on the diet and I smoked.

Whew. Had to get it out. I can't believe the guilt this has
brought out in me... AFter shopping on Sunday with my
parents, I thought, "Screw it. I want to eat and I am going
to eat. I've been good for over a month and I am going to
eat whatever I want." So, I did. And, after several glasses
of wine, suddenly a cigarette sounded WONDERFUL!!

So, S got a couple and we smoked. And it was ok. But not
all that I remembered or expected. So, I smoked it and
wasn't all that impressed. A bit later, S handed me
another, and I said No, I don't really want it... So, she
said "Dammit, take this cigarette and smoke it" SO, I took
it, I lit it and then it was gross, so I put it out....

I went home, went to bed, woke up, and Monday I had no
desire for a cigarette. Yay!! It really worried me that I
would suddenly want to smoke again, but I don't. It was
pretty gross, and I have no desire for more.

My weight hasn't changed either, at least not that I have
seen since hte pig out Sunday night. That was Baaaaad.

Well, thats it for today. Later.

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