Living In The Dark
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2002-03-26 05:28:54 (UTC)

My Wedding and My Ex-Boyfriend

I suppose this is where we get down to the nitty-gritty.

Two things have brought me to the simmer of stress today.
The urge to lay out in the chilly cold and euthanize under
a partly-cloudy night sky is so great.

Actually, the desire to get on the red, muddy bike and ride
North is even greater. Wrapped in fleece and a leather
bomber with my napsack that only zips one way, to hook up
with a houseful of bachelors and be Snow White in a tool

My mother is 'pausing. Menopausing, that is. She has
decided between tokes to sell her home which in turn is the
site for my wedding in four months. I'm not anal about
places, but I do get nervous when every square centimetre
of reception space was booked last year for the summer

And to ice the cupcake, I am still trying to deal with the
fact that my first-love - highschool-sweetheart - totally-
not-good-for-me exboyfriend is sleeping with my younger
sister. Have I inherited my brain from my mother that I am
so concerned about this?


I am trying to focus
I am trying to breathe
I am trying to see past that which
is so close to my eyes that they are crossed.
I am trying to raise the weight which
sits so firmly upon my heart.


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