lesley

lesley's life
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2001-05-17 16:55:47 (UTC)

first day

Dear diary,
a used to keep a diary when a was much younger
but couldnt keep it up got fed up with writting the shit in
it but al promise al keep this up.
well where do a start here a go this month has been a
little awkward,let me explain right on the 5th of may a
fell out with ma ex boyfriend whicha was seeing for about
9 months so a was a little upset about that but am slowely
getting over it thanks to ma friends and family, one friend
in particular adont no what a would have done if it wasnt
for him but the only thing we both wanna start going out
with each other but just now a feel weird as you can
understand but time will come a dont no what to do though
we all went to a log cabin at the weekend and it felt so
good but then a kissed john thats ma friend well kindda
nowa just scared of committing ma self to another guy but a
feel quite daft as a do really like john but am still
having stupid feelings about christopher(ma ex)a no am not
ment to but a do people keep saying to get over him he was
a dick anyway but then a keep thinking about shit thats
happened over the time we had togther the only thing is a
wish a could just hate him but a cant for some odd reason
but hopefully we can still be friends and allbut a do think
the break from him has done me the world of good av got ma
life back and ma friends no1 really liked him anyway a did
though a was in love with him sometimes a think was it love
or was it just lust a dont no! but am all most certain it
was love he was ma first love he didnt believe that but
there you go av told you all now a think thats why am as
upset am now ovwer crying about him a still think about him
yes but they need to go and people are trying to get me
over him but it just aint working well for now hopefully
tonight will go a little better john coming over and a l
hopefully forget about him for a while its just so hard but
life must go on. am not going to work in the morning
tomorrow as a have the doctors in the morning so al be able
to have a long lye a dont no whats up with me a keep being
sick a think its just nerves and stupid things like that
with john and christopher but keep your fingers crossed a
dont no though aw well nee dto go and get dressed before
john comes so al write up tonight and tell you whats
happening in ma life or with john hopefully a can do it be
brave enough ha to get those feelings away and get on with
ma life aw well write to you soon...............

love lesleyxxx


thursday 17th may at 6.00pm



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